


Make Them Gold

by acegently (jadedlemon)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Asexual Character, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9921227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadedlemon/pseuds/acegently
Summary: Todd hadn’t really believed in the so-called masked vigilantes. He had seen the reports, first person accounts on social media detailing dramatic encounters with them – but these were few and far between, and in all honesty, to Todd, they just sounded like a plotline lifted straight out of a failed superhero movie. When a quick google search and perusal of the news channels gave him nothing on the topic, he had dismissed the tales of the masked vigilantes as a passing Internet phenomenon.That was until one showed up outside his apartment.





	1. out of the blue

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [universalmamotchka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/universalmamotchka/pseuds/universalmamotchka) in the [gentlychallenge](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/gentlychallenge) collection. 



> we are made of our longest days,  
> we are falling but not alone,  
> we will take the best parts of ourselves,  
> and **make them gold**  
>  -make them gold; chvrches
> 
> The superhero AU I thought no-one asked for, but it turned out someone did? I picked up this as a claim after I had started writing it, so it may not be exactly what the prompt wanted, but here it is anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the air in your lungs is like thunder  
> I can see the clouds breaking in front of me  
> and there won't be much keeping us under  
> but I don't ever wanna go back  
> to where I used to be  
> -out of the blue; prides
> 
> Here I am again, posting a fic without having finished the other. This is a superhero au (kind of?), but it will probably be more focused on Brotzly than anything else, because I like to reserve good plot ideas for my original works  
> Chapters will be unbeta'd, and probably largely unedited too because I am lazy  
> Have fun! (?)

Todd hadn’t really believed in the so-called masked vigilantes. He had seen the reports, first person accounts on social media detailing dramatic encounters with them – but these were few and far between, and in all honesty, to Todd, they just sounded like a plotline lifted straight out of a failed superhero movie. When a quick google search and perusal of the news channels gave him nothing on the topic, he had dismissed the tales of the masked vigilantes as a passing Internet phenomenon.

That was until one showed up outside his apartment.

In comparison, it would have almost made sense for one to be waiting by his door in the typical sense of the phrase ‘outside his apartment’. Even the sidewalk would have been a more viable option. But this is not what Todd meant by ‘outside his apartment’ – in fact, a masked vigilante showed up outside his second-floor window.

Todd wasn’t home at the time, but as he headed towards his building he found he could hear a flapping sound, far too loud and grating to be any old pigeon. When he looked up, a man was hovering by his open window, apparently trying to peer under the blinds.

The man looked relatively normal, Todd thought, despite the wings.

“Uh,” Todd said, too quietly for the man to hear. His mouth opened, closed, opened again, but no further sounds would come out. He cleared his throat instead – that got his attention. The man looked down at him, beamed brightly enough for the sun to shine out from under his mask, and landed not entirely gracefully beside him with a deafening, creaking flap.

“Hi,” The winged man greeted, overly enthusiastic for before midday. He had the most animated face Todd had ever seen. His expressions – even with the limited vision of them the mask provided – were just too much, yet at the same time they seemed entirely genuine.

Todd’s brain hadn’t quite caught up with his mouth; he bypassed a greeting and went straight for, “Why the hell are you trying to break into my apartment?” His voice sounded, on reflection, a lot less accusatory than the situation probably warranted.

The winged man tilted his head, giving a smile that told Todd he was wrong about something. “Well, actually, I didn’t know it was your apartment,” He replied, “I was just trying to get into that particular apartment, completely unrelated to the owner of said apartment.”

The more Todd managed to process, the more questions spun in his mind. “Why?”

“Hunch?” The man shrugged, and though Todd couldn’t see his eyebrows from the mask, something told him they were probably raised.

“Right,” Todd almost accepted this as a full explanation, and then added, “Who exactly are you?”

“My name is-“ His words faltered slightly and he hesitated, pressed his lips together. “You can call me Icarus. It’s not my real name, obviously, but that’s not information I’m allowed to disclose.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“Who’s stopping you from telling me? Who makes the rules?”

Icarus seemed to consider this. “Me? Actually, forget that, definitely not me. The universe, maybe? You ask a _lot_ of questions. What’s your name?”

“Todd,” He answered automatically, his brow furrowing, confusion melting to annoyance building to anger, “And I think I have the right to ask questions. You were trying to break into my apartment.”

“Not strictly true, but okay,” Icarus pursed his lips. He had an odd voice; Todd would have expected a vigilante, or whatever this guy was, to sound cool and gritty, not to have an immaculately polished English accent.

“It is true,” He muttered, but his focus had been drawn by the glint of the morning sun to Icarus’ wings. Up close, it was easy to tell they weren’t real. It was a relief, actually – the idea of humans with real wings was terrifying. Mechanical ones were much easier to come to terms with. They shone gold in the natural light, though their brilliance had been dulled by years of use and misuse. They were also very, very large, and potentially dangerous to be standing so close to.

Noticing that he was looking, Icarus twisted slightly to give a better view, and Todd jumped back on impulse. He was not about to ruin the rest of his perfectly normal day by being knocked out by giant metal wings. “Do you like them?” Icarus asked, a smile in his voice almost a match for the one on his face, “They’re getting a bit run down, actually. They are very loud. I shall need to find oil, or something to fix them up a bit at least.”

Todd couldn’t believe he was about to say this. Later, he would absolutely regret it. But the wings were blinding both in the sunlight and in their magnificence, and so he said it anyway. “I should have tools and stuff inside,” He began, looking between Icarus and his open window with a look of bewilderment and a feeling of sinking hopelessness, “If you want to come in.”

 

Not five minutes later, Todd had a winged man standing in his apartment, twisting to drop oil on the metal contraption attached to his back.

“Don’t they come off?” Todd asked, sounding distant even to himself. Without waiting for an answer, he crossed to the kitchen to brew himself a well-deserved coffee.

Icarus raised his voice slightly, having watched Todd move. “They do, actually,” he said, “But I’d prefer they didn’t. I look much cooler with them on, don’t you think?”

“I haven’t seen you without them,” Todd shrugged, though he had to admit he didn’t think anyone would look cooler _without_ wings. “Anyway, there’s no one here to impress. Just me.”

“What are you talking about? Who would I be trying to impress _but_ you?” Icarus sounded all too smug considering the content of his sentence, “You are the only one here, like you said.”

Todd opened his mouth to reply, furrowed his brows and heaved a sigh. “Alright, fine, you do you,” He said, and turned his back on Icarus. It had only been a short time and he was already tired of this man. The faceless, nameless man standing over his sofa was infinitely more annoying than impressive. Part of him was disappointed that real life vigilantes apparently weren’t as cool as the fictional ones.

“Todd?” Icarus said after a while. When Todd turned, he found he had removed the wings after all. Even with the mask, and despite his height, he looked a lot more vulnerable without them. He had set the oil aside, and was looking at him with a smile tugging at his lips. Todd had the sense that this was the end of their encounter – the vigilante would leave now that his wings were fixed up, and Todd could go back to his normal, everyday life.

“How would you like to help me catch a criminal?” Icarus said instead.

Todd blinked at him, and then again, before he found the words to reply. “I wouldn’t.” Even through the mask he could see Icarus’ entire face fall; he really did have some interesting expressions.

“Please, Todd, I could really use your help! I was originally here at your building because I’m supposed to be investigating your landlord. Anything you know about him could be great for catching him, even the tiniest of details,” He scoffed and added, “And honestly, who would turn down the chance to help a superhero?”

“You’re… You’re not a superhero,” Todd said. But if Dorian ended up in some kind of trouble with the law, it could be beneficial for his lagging rent payments… “I can take you to his door, but that’s it. That’s all I’m doing for you, and I want you gone after that. I don’t want involved in any of your crazy shit.”

 

He had hoped – prayed, even – that seeing Icarus off once would be the end of it. One encounter was one too many, and every minute he spent with the vigilante was a minute spent missing his ordinary routine.

But there are times when having briefly met a self-proclaimed superhero could come in handy.

Times like this, for example, when three strange men had cornered him as he walked home in the dark.

“Word on the street is you’re responsible for last week’s drug bust,” One of them grunted, poking something – Todd told himself it was just a really fat, weirdly solid finger, and not the barrel of a gun as it definitely felt like – into his ribs. He jolted backwards, but only succeeded in standing on another man’s toe.

“Look, I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He held his hands up shakily, “I’m not involved in any kind of drug bust. I don’t even know what drug bust you’re talking about.” The words were true until the moment they left his lips, and suddenly they felt like a lie. It dawned on him that Dorian had been oddly silent for the past week. Since that day…

The third man grabbed the collar of his shirt, thrusting him against the wall, which was impressive in itself, considering Todd was a grown man and the wall was at least a good metre away. “Lay off it. You thought you could get away with ratting on Dorian?” His suspicions confirmed, Todd let his head roll back, repressing a sigh. A near-death situation was not the time to be cursing his life.

He heard the gun rattle as it was waved in front of his face. “Look at me when I’m talking to ya!” The man holding him snapped, and Todd moved his head so fast he thought he might have given himself whiplash.

“Didn’t think we’d catch up to you, huh?” One of the other men said, “We know where you live, remember. Don’t think we’re gonna let this fly.”

“Excuse me,” A painfully familiar voice cut in. Todd didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He swore instead.

“Who’s the new kid?!” The gun-wielding man and his apparently unarmed companion backed away from Todd to inspect the new arrival. The third didn’t budge, keeping Todd firmly against the wall. In the dim streetlight, he saw the men pale at the sight of golden wings.

Icarus scoffed. “Well I’m hardly a kid, but I can forgive the misunderstanding, I am wearing a mask after all. Now onto the real issue here; you appear to have a friend of mine over there, and I would really appreciate you letting him go?”

“I’m not your friend,” Todd said quietly.

The man dragged him further up the wall, scraping the entire length of his body, pressing harder on his throat. “Shut the fuck up,” He growled. Todd could only give a hurried nod, struggling to breathe.

Icarus stepped further into the streetlamp’s glow, and his movement set the men on edge. Todd thought he heard him gasp softly as the barrel of the gun pointed straight at him, trembling in the thug’s hands. “Stop! Don’t move!” The gunman cried, sounding more concerned than he probably intended.

“Alright,” Icarus held up his hands, “But really, if you would _just_ let go of this nice young man here…”

The wings, Todd realised then, were a lot more intimidating than Icarus’ demeanour, and thus the only reason the criminals seemed at all afraid. They glanced at each other, momentarily confused at the vigilante’s total lack of ferocity, before steeling themselves against him. “What you gonna do if we don’t?” One of them asked.

Icarus’ lips twisted. “Well, I hadn’t really thought of that. But it will definitely be… something!” He declared. This was the worst rescue Todd had ever experienced. The criminals were laughing.

“How ‘bout I do this first?”

The armed man pulled the trigger.

Unfortunately, this coincided with the exact moment Icarus turned his body to face Todd and ask, “Are you okay?”

There was a ping, metal against sturdy metal, and the gunman’s companion screamed. “You shot me! You bastard, you shot me!”

This was enough of a distraction for Todd to act. The hand on his throat loosened, his captor torn between keeping him there and twisting to watch the scene. Todd seized his opportunity to drive his knee sharply into his groin. The man grunted, stumbling backwards and doubling over in pain. The sudden lack of hand sent Todd dropping to the ground; it wasn’t much of a distance, but his feet hit the concrete at an awkward angle and, unable to gain his balance, his knees and hands followed. Tiny stones dug into his palms, skin scraping as he pushed himself back to his feet, simultaneously trying to propel himself into a run.

“Aha!” Icarus cried, sounding far too proud of himself.

The armed criminal yelled, swinging the gun between Icarus and Todd, clearly unsure which of them to shoot. Todd didn’t feel like stopping long enough to see who he chose. He saw Icarus draw back his arm and throw; a rock struck the gun, knocking it from the man’s hands. With their final adversary distracted, Todd took off, rushing past Icarus who was too busy with what could only be described as a victory dance to follow suit. “Run, you asshole!” Todd shouted over his shoulder.

He lost sight of Icarus the moment he turned his head – an impressive feat, considering the man had literal giant wings – but he was too focused on saving his own life to care. The thugs might have let him off with a warning before. There was no way he would survive another encounter after that whole debacle. He just had to get back to his apartment, lock himself in and take things from there. Right after he stopped to catch his breath, anyway.

“Phew! Wow. Now that was an interesting situation. How do you get yourself into this kind of thing, Todd, you silly man?”

Todd bit back a groan at the familiar voice. At least they had both gotten out alive. He stopped panting long enough to look up at Icarus blankly. “How did you- You were- I left before you, how-“

Icarus looked at him as if he were an idiot, which at the moment Todd felt might be true. “I have wings, remember? I flew out. And thanks to your help, I have been able to do it a lot more stealthily this week.”

“Huh…” Todd nodded, “Wait- you- hold on.” He straightened himself up as Icarus’ words dawned on him. Filled with a sudden rage, he jerked a finger in his direction, “What do you mean how did _I_ get _myself_ into this? This whole thing is your fault.” Icarus’ mouth fell open, and he made a small noise of confusion, but Todd wasn’t finished, “You’re the one who invaded my house and made me help you with your crime-fighting. You’re the one who pissed off Dorian’s friends over there by busting him. And you’re the one who dropped into the middle of that ‘situation’, didn’t help in the slightest and only made them ten times more likely to kill me next time they see me! So thanks, _Icarus_ , you’ve been a great superhero.”

For the first time, Icarus looked unsure of himself. Had Todd been able to see under the mask, he may have felt bad, maybe even retracted some of his harsher words. As it was, he could see the downturn of his lips, his posture tense, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides, and it took the edge off his anger.

“W-Well, I…” Icarus’ voice wavered slightly, but he seemed to perk up suddenly. Todd wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t faking it. “I have the perfect solution! All I need to do is become your protector.”

That was not at all what he had expected. Todd gaped at him. “My… My what?”

“Your protector! I live in your apartment, I go with you anywhere you go – within reason, of course – and I stop anyone trying to hurt-slash-kill you! And all you need to do is say yes! Well, and maybe give me somewhere to sleep. And food would be appreciated, but as long as it’s available I can prepare it myself…”

“Wait, wait, wait. Stop talking,” Todd waved a hand in Icarus’ face. “I’m not having a masked man as my new roommate.”

Icarus pursed his lips pensively. “Ah. Yes. You are right about that, Todd. It would become very difficult to keep my true identity hidden. I could just… keep the mask on?” He shrugged, “Or I could take the mask off and show you my face, which is potentially incredibly dangerous for both you and me. But at least then you would have a normal man as your new roommate! Well. Relatively normal…”

“I don’t even want a new roommate! Look, Icarus, this is a stupid idea, and I’m not agreeing to it.”

“But then how will I protect you? I can’t be your protector if I’m not near you at all times. I thought that would have been obvious.”

Todd dragged a hand down his face, sighing, “I don’t need a protector. There are already plenty of people out there who hate me. I’m already in a few deep piles of shit, what’s one more?” He was talking mostly to himself, but Icarus bounced a little on his heels.

“All the more reason for me to be your protector! If there’s more than one set of villains, how are you going to defend yourself against all of them at once? You really do need me, and the sooner you realise it, the better your life will be.”

“Icarus,” Todd said, drawing an air of finality about himself, “I don’t need you to protect me. I don’t want you staying in my apartment. I’m done with this, you hear me? I’m going home. Don’t follow me.” Not staying to hear his reply, he walked away.

 

“Amanda, hey, it’s me,” Todd spoke into his phone, shuffling to pull on his jacket, “I know you said not to leave voicemails, but you didn’t answer your phone, so I just wanted to let you know I’m on my way over… I’ll see you soon.” He locked his door behind him as he stepped into the hallway, focused on his phone screen as he made his way down the corridor and promptly walked into something – someone, rather – that definitely hadn’t been in front of him a moment ago. “Shit, sorry…” He began, trailing off when he glanced up, “What the hell?”

He was really getting tired of seeing that mask.

“Good morning, Todd,” Icarus’ smile was too bright for the time of day.

Todd took a hasty step back. “I told you not to follow me!” He snapped.

“And I didn’t! I allowed you time to go home, before I decided to visit your apartment and sleep in this very comfortable corridor here.”

“You spent the night here?” Todd said, hanging somewhere between anger and exasperation.

“Yes. Also, I lied. It’s really not very comfortable,” Icarus admitted. Todd didn’t know how to respond. Instead of trying, he huffed and moved to walk around the other man. “Where are you going?” Icarus asked curiously, but made no move to stop him.

“To my sister’s house,” Todd said.

Icarus nodded pensively. “Well, as your protector I ought to come with you.”

Todd shook his head, pushing past him, leaving him no room to protest. “Goodbye, Icarus.”

 

“You have a superhero bodyguard,” Amanda sat on the counter, swinging her legs, while Todd leaned against it. She seemed a lot more impressed by the situation than Todd thought it really warranted. “That’s pretty cool.”

“He’s not my bodyguard. He’s not even a superhero,” Todd said, “He’s just making things worse, and I don’t want him around.”

“Why are you so wound up about this? Why not just let him do whatever, carry on with your life?”

He shrugged, “Because- well, he’s- I don’t know, he’s hard to ignore. I’m just hoping he’ll be gone by the time I get home. How have you been?”

Amanda raised an eyebrow, “No worse than usual, I guess. But I want to hear more about your mystery man. What’s his name?”

“I don’t know,” Todd said, “He told me to call him Icarus. I haven’t even seen his face. He wears this dumb mask, so you can only see, like, his mouth, maybe his eyes if you’re close enough.”

“Icarus doesn’t seem like a great name for a superhero. That’s kind of just, like, setting himself up for failure,” Amanda seemed to realise something then, her face lighting up, “Ooh, does he have wings?”

“He does,” Todd nodded. Before Amanda could get too excited, he added, “Not real ones. These huge gold metal things.”

Amanda’s eyes widened. “Woah… Dude.” She gave him a look, one that Todd wasn’t sure how to decipher beyond that she was trying to suggest something. His confusion must have shown on his face, because she went on, “I mean, Todd, come on. There’s a man with metal wings who desperately wants to be your personal bodyguard, and you think this is a bad thing?”

“He slept in the hallway! All night! Even after I specifically told him not to follow me home. And he was useless when I was with those guys. In fact, it’s his fault they were after me in the first place, and he only made it worse. I don’t want to be led to my death by my own…” Lacking a better word, he finger-quoted, “Bodyguard.”

“Todd,” Amanda said, and when he looked up at his sister, her face had softened into one of concern, “Maybe you should consider it. It might be his fault, but he at least got you out of the situation unharmed, even if it was… unconventionally. I don’t know, it sounds like he just wants to make it up to you for getting you involved in the first place.” Her lips quirked in a half-smile, “At least don’t throw him out until I get to meet him.”

 

When Todd returned home, Icarus was curled up outside his door, wingless, tucked away against the wall. “Hey,” He tried, but was met with no response; clearly, his ‘protector’ was fast asleep. Todd stepped carefully past him and unlocked his front door.

Despite his attempts to move silently, Icarus stirred. Todd glanced down and met his bewildered gaze, mostly obscured by the mask. “Hey,” He said again. As if suddenly registering where he was, Icarus sat up hurriedly.

“Oh. Todd. Good… morning? Evening? What time is it? I must have dozed off, silly me.”

“It’s 7pm,” Todd answered, “Have you been here all day?” He found he wasn’t exactly annoyed at the idea. Maybe talking to his sister had warmed him to the idea of a superhero bodyguard. God, he hoped not.

“No,” Icarus said, pushing himself to his feet, “I went home when you left, but I wasn’t sure how long you would be gone, so I came back after a few hours just in case.”

Todd actually laughed, not much more than a huff but a laugh all the same. “You really are determined,” He said. He took a moment to just look at Icarus, pensive, before he opened his door. “Why don’t you come inside?”

Icarus lit up far too brightly for someone who had just woken. That seemed to be a pattern with him. Todd couldn’t fathom how he did it. He looked oddly at home standing in Todd’s apartment, casting his gaze around as though he hadn’t had the chance to fully appreciate everything last time, despite the fact that there was not much to appreciate.

Todd sat, looking up at him. “Alright, look,” He began, “I don’t really get what your deal is here. And I’m still pissed at you for dragging me into this. But if you’re going to sleep in the hall anyway… I guess you might as well sleep inside, instead.”

Icarus’ mouth fell open, “You… You mean…”

“Yeah. You can stay. But this is my apartment, so you stay on my terms, you understand? And this isn’t permanent. If I ask you to leave, you leave, okay?”

He nodded fiercely, “I, um. I can pay rent! I know you don’t have a lot of money, or a job right now, so…” Noticing Todd’s furrowed eyebrows, he amended, “Just a hunch! What I mean to say is having me around will be beneficial not only for your protection, but also for your financial situation.”

Todd hadn’t considered that side. If he had, he might have accepted sooner (and with less reluctance). If he had a roommate to split the rent, that left him more money for Amanda…

“Right. Good. So, uh… you can sleep on the sofa?”

 

It struck Todd the following day that it was odd to have never seen his roommate’s face.

Icarus hadn’t removed the mask. He had even slept with it on. Todd’s apartment was already beginning to show signs of the other man’s presence, most notably the metal wings he had folded in the corner and the duffle bag full of identical shirts, ties in a range of patterns and jackets in a rainbow of colours (an unusual outfit choice for a self-proclaimed superhero, but it did fit his personality well). And yet Todd didn’t even really know who he was.

Icarus didn’t seem willing to reveal his identity. Todd assumed he had his reasons, and didn’t push him for it. But he could foresee it being difficult to live together for any amount of time without him finding out eventually.

That was some solace; at least he probably would find out eventually. However long that was.

Amanda seemed eager. “Oh man, I am so glad you took my advice,” She said through the phone, “So when are you bringing him over? How about right now?”

Todd laughed, “Really? I don’t know, Amanda, he’s not here right now. I think he’s out doing some kind of crime-fighting. He told me not to move, said he wouldn’t be gone long. Anyway, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. He might not be sticking around for long, I don’t want to rush in introducing him to the family…” He trailed off. God, now he was talking as if Icarus was the one likely to leave. He reminded himself that he never wanted him there in the first place.

“All the more reason to introduce us as soon as possible,” Amanda said, “I don’t want to miss my chance to meet a superhero.”

“He’s… really not as impressive as you’re imagining,” Todd sighed, “He’s, like, weirdly posh. Usually excessively cheerful. And he always seems kind of surprised when things actually go well.”

“Todd!” His front door burst open then, a beaming Icarus rushing into the room. Todd wondered if he had somehow summoned him by talking about him. How much had he heard? Either way, he didn’t seem to care, launching himself onto the sofa with so much enthusiasm Todd felt the furniture move under him. “I have a lead!”

“Is that him?” Amanda asked.

Todd nodded before realising she couldn’t see him. “Yeah, he’s back. I’ll call you later, alright?” Amanda huffed at this, but didn’t protest further. “Love you.”

“Love you too, bro,” She hung up, leaving him to deal with Icarus, who was watching him curiously.

“Was that a girlfriend? Boyfriend? Datefriend?”

Todd rolled his eyes at him, “That was my sister. I don’t have…” He paused. Why was he telling Icarus this? He made a swift attempt to change the subject. “Uh, you were saying about a lead?”

“Yes! Thank you, Todd.”

“For what?” Todd raised an eyebrow.

“For listening to me, of course. That rarely happens.”

Icarus didn’t sound any less upbeat than usual, but his words struck Todd as unreasonably sad. Now he felt guilty for rejecting him so harshly.

Icarus was still talking, “So, I had noticed a string of suspicious murders, entirely unrelated, except for one thing linking the victims – all of them were criminals themselves. Some were shot, some stabbed, others killed in really very bizarre ways, usually incredibly violent. Something told me the same person was committing each of these murders, and I was right! At least I think so. I spoke to some people at the police station…”

“The police cooperate with you?”

“No, Todd, do keep up. I never said I spoke to the _police_ , only that I was at the police _station_. So I spoke to some people there-”

“Wait, wait,” Todd interrupted, earning a frown from Icarus, “So you’ve just been… hanging around the police station since you left here, talking to anyone who came in? Weren’t the police suspicious?”

“Yes, that is what I said, and no, not this time,” Icarus answered, “They threw me out the first few times, but they have since learned that I pose no threat, and now they tend to just ignore me. As I was saying, I spoke to some people at the police station and one of them said they know someone, who knows someone else, who saw two people leaving the scene of one of these murders, and one of them was covered in blood! They gave me a description and everything, it’s all very exciting. So I’ll be investigating this for a while, and when I find out enough information, you can help me apprehend the suspect!” Icarus stood, heading for the kitchen.

“I can what?” Todd hurried after him, grabbing his arm, “Who said I was helping you? I thought you wanted to protect me, not drag me into more of your shit.”

“I can do both, they’re not mutually exclusive. And I think I have proven to you that I am really no good at confrontations with criminals. But you,” Icarus turned his body towards Todd, gripping both of his arms. His palms were warm, burning imprints into Todd’s skin, and he realised how close Icarus stood – close enough that Todd could see his eyes under his mask, shining with an intensity Todd had never before seen directed at him. They were blue, he noticed. Blue enough to hold him captivated. Icarus was silent for so long that Todd forgot he had been mid-sentence, his heart rate picking up slightly when he spoke softly, “You were brilliant. You got us both out of there alive. I… I would really appreciate your help.”

“Well, I… I didn’t do much really. Just kicked a guy in the nuts.”

Icarus smiled. “It worked, though.” After a beat, his smile faltered, and he stepped back, his hands brushing Todd’s arms as he let go. “Well done, Todd. Good superhero skills.” He patted him awkwardly on the shoulder before continuing on his way, leaving Todd standing blankly by the sofa with a growing sense of confusion, one that went beyond Icarus’ eccentricities and touched on something deeper.

 

He eventually agreed to bring Icarus to Amanda’s house that weekend. She insisted he bring his wings, which slightly concerned Todd, having a masked man in his passenger seat and a pair of metal wings in the trunk. But Amanda’s face when she opened her door was worth the inconvenience.

“Hi!” Icarus chimed, “I’m Icarus, Todd’s new best friend.” He held out a hand for Amanda to shake, pointedly ignoring Todd’s floundering protests. “Actually, Icarus is not my name, but for the sake of everyone’s safety I will be keeping my name secret and mask on.”

“Great. Hi. I’m Amanda,” She shook his hand, “I am so excited to finally meet you. Todd’s told me all about you.”

“Oh? Has he?” Icarus glanced down at Todd with a smug smile. Todd opened his mouth to retort, but, his mind blank, scoffed and slipped past Amanda into the house instead. As he went, he felt Icarus’ eyes follow him, and heard him say, “He’s a little… repressed.”

Amanda gave a surprised laugh. “I know, right? Come on in.”

It only took Icarus five minutes of sitting still to jump to his feet and announce he was bringing his wings in from the car to show Amanda. Todd tossed him the keys, half-watching him through the window in case he turned out to be more cunning than he seemed, which he doubted at this point.

“So… Icarus is paying rent,” He said to Amanda, his gaze still directed out the window as the man in question hauled the metal from the trunk. Todd had never met anyone who performed every action with as much enthusiasm as he did. Turning back to Amanda, he continued, “Which means I have a bit more to give to you.”

Amanda frowned. “Todd… you’re already giving me most of your money. At least keep something for yourself.”

Todd shook his head, “No, I want to do this. You’re my sister, I want to do everything I can for you. So, don’t worry about me. This whole roommate thing might work out better than I expected.”

She was just beginning to smile when the front door slammed and Icarus shuffled into the room, manoeuvring through corridors with equal degrees of difficulty and excitement. He positioned himself in front of them, spinning slowly, but not necessarily carefully – the edge of a wing clinked against a vase, Todd diving to catch it before it shattered. Despite his bulldozer-like entrance, Amanda clapped. “That is so cool,” She stood, moving to stand beside him, “Can I touch them?”

“Of course,” Icarus beamed, watching Amanda brush a hand reverently over gold.

“Can you actually fly?”

He nodded, “I can. Admittedly I am not the best at flying, but the wings are functional. They may be metal, but they’re rather light. Honestly, I don’t even know myself how they work – they were made for me by the CIA.”

“How do you, like, fight bad guys with these things on?” Amanda asked, wide-eyed.

“With some difficulty,” Icarus admitted at the same time as Todd put in, “He doesn’t.”

“I don’t know how he’s survived this long,” Todd continued.

Icarus tilted his head, looked at Amanda and added, “Neither do I.”

 

They left Amanda’s house late that evening, Todd driving again – Icarus, who tended to fly most places, had little concept of good driving skills. He chatted away from the passenger’s seat, recounting various previous criminal confrontations while Todd tried to focus on the road.

“Usually, the universe provides me some convenient way of apprehending the criminals when I catch up to them,” Icarus was saying, “For example, my last success involved a particularly wobbly set of shelves – of course, it also knocked _me_ out, and when I woke up the culprit had disappeared, which means either the police arrested him or he escaped. Probably the latter, considering I hadn’t called the police. However, I’m sure being stopped by me and hit by a shelf has taught him a lesson-”

“Holy shit!” Todd’s outcry cut Icarus off abruptly. A car had swerved in front of them, blocking the road. Todd slammed the brakes.

A woman clambered out of the driver’s side door, brandishing what looked like – it was getting dark, so Todd hoped he was mistaken, but doubted he was – a machete. Todd swore repeatedly, desperately trying to reverse, but apparently his car had chosen that exact moment to play up.

He heard the sound of a door opening, and looked to his side in horror to find Icarus getting out of the car. “Stop- no, wait, don’t-” He tried, but the door closed behind him. Todd cried out in frustration, slammed a fist on the steering wheel and followed him onto the street. “What the hell are you doing?!” He hissed, but Icarus silenced him with a small gesture, gaze trained on the woman.

“You the one who’s been investigating me?” She nodded towards Icarus; her voice was surprisingly rough, her hair wild and matted, her skin and clothes smothered in dirt and dried blood. This must be the killer Icarus had a lead on.

Icarus seemed to have made the same connection. “That’s right,” He said, his voice wavering slightly, “You’re the one who’s been killing criminals.”

“That’s me,” She answered bluntly. “Name’s Bart. I’m gonna kill you now.”

Bart walked towards them, in no hurry, grip tightening on her weapon. The distance between them was enough to give them enough time to move, but Icarus seemed frozen to the spot, clenching fists by his side. “Todd, get back in the car,” He said, his voice tense.

“Not unless you get in, too,” Todd grabbed hold of his sleeve, tugging, but Bart’s steady approach was distracting him from really trying.

“Todd, I’m supposed to be protecting you!” Icarus raised his voice, not only louder but higher than normal, cracking towards the end. Todd thought his heart might have cracked along with it. Icarus always sounded so confident, so bright – now he just sounded vulnerable and afraid.

“You can’t do that if you’re dead, Icarus, come on! You need to move!” He tugged more insistently, flicking his gaze to him briefly, not wanting to look away from Bart for too long.

Icarus tore his eyes away from her, just long enough to shove Todd in the direction of the car. “Go!” Todd stumbled backwards, the backs of his knees hitting the car, his hands scrabbling for purchase on the smooth paint. He tried to call Icarus’ name again, but the words stuck in his throat as he stepped in front of Todd, blocking him from Bart’s pursuit. She was close now, too close for him to do anything to stop it, and as she raised her machete Todd started to push himself forward-

A car horn blared.

Todd froze. Bart’s arm faltered on its way down, and Icarus cried out in pain, but not in deadly agony.

“Hey!” Someone shouted. Todd saw the window roll down in Bart’s car, and a man popped his head out. “I thought we agreed no killing!”

Bart dropped her arm, slouching as she turned to face him. “We didn’t agree, you decided yourself, Ken. But okay.” She walked back towards the car. “Bye, Icarus, or whatever your name is.”

As Bart drew closer, Todd heard the man say, “You didn’t tell them _your_ name, did you?”

“I told them my name’s Bart,” She replied, shrugging at Ken’s bewildered expression, “What? It’s true.”

“You’re not supposed to tell them! I thought you were all supposed to use an alias, _Marzanna_.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like that name. I prefer Bart.” She got into the car, and their back-and-forth was lost in the sound of the engine as they drove away.

Todd breathed out as the car disappeared, then remembered they hadn’t exactly escaped unharmed. “Shit,” He hurried around to Icarus’ front, “Are you okay, are you hurt? Oh, shit.”

Icarus had a hand pressed over one side of his face, covering his cheek and eye. Fresh blood trailed down his face like a single tear track, and his mask hung loosely from one side, having been dislodged by the attack. “I’m…” He took a shaky breath, “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, oh, God, that looks bad,” Todd nudged him backwards, guiding him until he was sat on the car hood. “Let me see,” He said softly, taking his hand to pry it away from his face. Icarus allowed it with little resistance.

With his other hand – the one not coated crimson – Icarus reached up and peeled off his torn mask. Todd’s brain momentarily short-circuited. There were better situations under which he would have preferred to see his face for the first time, but this was how it had happened, and he was too caught up in just looking at him to really mind. Icarus was beautiful, not conventionally handsome, but beautiful all the same. His soft features made him look younger than he really was, and more innocent, too. His fingers curled around the other’s palm – and he was jolted back to reality when he realised Icarus’ blood now stained his fingertips.

“Alright,” He sighed. Icarus was watching him, his mouth a thin line, blue eyes wide. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I should have bandages in the car, wait here.” It only took him a moment of rummaging around in his mess of a vehicle to source something resembling a makeshift first aid kit. He returned to Icarus, poured a drop of water onto a bundle of tissues, and pressed it gently to the wound. It wasn’t as deep as the blood had suggested, though it was quite long, reaching from his temple to his cheek.

As he dabbed away the blood, Icarus hissed and drew his face back. “It’s okay,” Todd said, stepping forwards so that he was between his legs, resting a hand on his knee as he leaned closer. “It’ll sting a bit, but hopefully not for long.”

“Hopefully,” Icarus scoffed, but it was a half-hearted action. He was oddly quiet.

“Are you okay?” Todd asked again, and something in his eyes must have told him he meant more than just the cut.

Icarus took a moment to reply, and when he did, Todd could only hear it because he was standing close enough to feel his breath. “I said I would protect you,” He whispered, “But when it came down to it, I couldn’t do anything. I guess I really am useless.”

Todd’s hand stopped against his cheek. “You’re not- I didn’t mean what I said. Or, I did at the time, but I was wrong about you. You’re smart. You might have odd ways of doing things, but somehow, they seem to be working. And, hey, look,” He gestured to himself, “I’m still alive. Mopping the blood off you, completely unharmed myself.”

A smile tugged at Icarus’ lips, one that didn’t reach his eyes. Todd went back to work. Silence fell between them, no sound but their breaths, until Todd put down the bloodied tissues and picked up the bandage.

“So… you’ve seen my face now. I don’t need to wear that mask in your apartment anymore,” Icarus said, some of that old charm beginning to return to his voice.

“That’s true,” Todd nodded, his mouth quirking into a half smile, “It’s good, though. Now I actually know what my roommate looks like.”

Icarus’ eyes hadn’t left him since he started, and they stayed even now as he smoothed down the bandage and leaned back, meeting his gaze. “My name is Dirk Gently,” He said, and Todd almost stopped him, but he seemed intent on, if not content with, telling him. “Icarus is the alias I use to keep my identity hidden, for security, but you already knew that. Secret identities are a lot harder than I expected, actually… we barely lasted a week.”

Todd laughed, “It was never going to be easy with you living with me. A week was quite impressive. But thank you for telling me your name. You didn’t have to, but I’m glad you did.”

Icarus – Dirk – nodded, something that could be misinterpreted as fondness but was probably just gratitude gracing his features. “Should we maybe… get out of the middle of the street?”

“Oh, shit, yeah,” Todd stepped backwards, away from Dirk. The night air was colder than he had realised, sending a shiver through him. “I’m surprised no cars have passed. It’s a quiet street, but we must have been out here for a while.” He got into his car, attempting to start the engine and finding it working perfectly.

Dirk settled in beside him, head turned to watch him again. Todd could get used to his constant gaze, he thought. “Yes, the universe does that. It works in odd ways, mostly. But every so often, it works in the best way possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr at either @acewylan (my good blog with some dghda stuff on it) or @acegently (my dghda blog)! Feel free to talk to me I appreciate friends  
> This should have 5 chapters total. These chapters are longer than anything I have ever attempted before, and university, unfortunately, exists, so updates probably won't be regular. But (as I say with everything I do) updates will happen eventually.  
> Thank you for reading!


	2. shall i stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like a river flows  
> surely to the sea,  
> darling, so it goes;  
> some things are meant to be  
> -can't help falling in love; elvis [cover by hearts and colours]

Living with Todd was probably the best thing that had ever happened to Dirk.

Waking up every morning to the sound of soft breath from Todd’s bedroom, the comfort of the sofa under him, the lingering scent of last night’s coffee – it would soon be replaced by a stronger, fresher coffee smell, just as soon as Todd rolled out of bed and into the kitchen. It was what he did every morning. Dirk was always wide awake by that time, usually having been so for a matter of hours, and he always looked forward to seeing Todd shuffling through his apartment, blinded by sleep, hair sticking up in tufts. It made him look even more adorable than usual.

Dirk wasn’t sure what having a friend was supposed to be like. He also wasn’t sure that the word ‘adorable’ was really something often used to describe a friend. Maybe not as often as he found himself using it, at least. But what did he know?

On this particular morning, Todd looked over at him on his way to the coffee machine, but did nothing more to acknowledge his presence. Dirk smiled at him anyway. “Good morning, Todd,” He said, and received an unintelligible mumble in return.

“I’ve been thinking about Bart,” He went on anyway, gesturing to his notes, which he had spread across the coffee table. “I wrote down everything we know, but we will need to find her again in order to-”

“Dirk,” Todd cut in, “It’s way too early for this.”

Dirk frowned, checking the clock, “Really, Todd, it’s nine o’clock already. I’ve been awake for two hours. Just because _you_ like to sleep as long as humanly possible…”

“What the fuck,” Todd emerged from the kitchen, squinting, mug pressed between his hands. Dirk was always impressed by the speed at which Todd could make coffee. He supposed it came with years of daily practice. “It’s only nine? How are you so… ugh.”

“Yes, you are making perfect sense,” Dirk raised his eyebrows. This earned him a light slap from Todd as he slouched into the sofa beside him. “Anyway, I propose-”

“Shhh,” Todd fumbled a hand in his direction, clumsily pressing a finger to his lips. It had the desired effect – all words died in Dirk’s throat. “Just… let me wake up first,” Todd said, dropping his hand to his own lap as he downed a mouthful of scalding coffee without flinching.

“Okay,” Dirk tried to say, but it came out as more of a high-pitched squeak. He cleared his throat in an attempt to cover himself, though Todd didn’t seem to have noticed anything odd in his half-asleep state. Or maybe he was simply brushing everything off as just another of Dirk’s odd quirks at this point. It wouldn’t surprise him. He distracted himself by shuffling papers around, though his mind was no longer on Bart.

Dirk’s knowledge of relationships was derived mostly, if not entirely, from fiction. Books had provided him with enough basis to know what friendship was supposed to be like, but they couldn’t be entirely accurate. Maybe there were parts that they had missed out, like your heart beating a little bit faster when your friend touched you, or being unable to think about anything else when they were around (and often when they weren’t, too).

He reminded himself, not for the first time in the weeks since they had met and certainly not for the last, that no matter how much he pressed the issue, Todd probably didn’t even consider him a friend. Someone like Todd must have plenty of other, more interesting people in his life. He hadn’t met any of them, in fairness, but he was sure they existed.

Todd shifted some of his papers aside to make room for his mug, now empty. “Alright. You were saying?” It was truly amazing, the wonders coffee did for Todd’s state of consciousness.

“Yes. Ah. Where was I?”

“I have no idea,” Todd shrugged, leaning one arm over the back of the sofa and turning his body to face him. “I wasn’t listening.”

“Great, thank you, Todd, that’s a real vote of confidence,” Dirk glanced up at him in time to catch his smirk. He turned his attention back to the papers, really trying to focus on the issue at hand this time, and not the issue sat beside him. That may warrant more careful thought later, but now was not the time. “I believe I was saying, my top priority right now is finding Bart, and unless I’m mistaken – which I rarely am, let’s be honest – I know where I have to go to do so. She seems to be staying in a hotel not too far away.”

Todd had picked up a few of his papers, and was peering at them with furrowed brows. “How did you even work that out? Dirk, these don’t make any sense.”

Sometimes, when Todd spoke to him, Dirk found himself very glad he had told him his real name. Hearing Todd call him ‘Dirk’, as opposed to ‘Icarus’, made him feel for the first time like he had a real connection with another person. Perhaps it was in his head, but it was nice all the same.

And other times, when Todd spoke to him, he regretted it intensely, because he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it was a mistake that would eventually lead to Todd’s untimely demise.

“A hunch,” He answered, leaning in to look at the papers. Todd was probably right about them not making sense. They were mostly random words, some with lines linking them together. But he understood what they were telling him, and that was what mattered.

Todd was giving him a curious look, as though contemplating something he couldn’t quite fathom. Dirk assumed a listening pose. Todd hesitated, then said quietly and entirely too seriously, “Dirk… are you psychic?”

The question threw him a bit. “No. Why do you ask?”

“I just thought, maybe that’s, like, your superpower. The wings are cool and all, but they’re a machine. They’re not, like… how Spiderman can do the web thing, like magic or something. They’re more like how Batman has all those inventions to help him fight crime.”

“Todd, I have very little idea what you’re talking about,” He said, “But I wouldn’t call what I do a ‘superpower’ anyway. I just… notice things most people might not notice. And besides, my superhero alias is Icarus, not Psychicman. The original Icarus had wings, and as far as I know, no psychic powers. In fact, if he did have psychic powers, perhaps his story would have ended rather differently.”

“I did wonder if you knew the story,” Todd raised an eyebrow at him, “I mean, with that ending, was it really a good alias to choose?”

Dirk faltered, his heart skipping in a sudden spike of panic. “I… didn’t choose it,” Before Todd could question further, he hurriedly added, “I’m going to go to the hotel today.”

Todd looked confused – he often did, and Dirk couldn’t always place a reason for it, but this time it was probably related to his sudden hasty topic change. Dirk couldn’t bring himself to explain any further. “Right… I’ll get my jacket.”

“You’ll – what?” Dirk’s eyes widened, catching Todd’s sleeve as he stood, “No, I didn’t mean you were coming with me. I’m protecting you, Todd, and I’ve already dragged you into one murderous encounter. You should stay here.”

“You could have died last time,” Todd lowered himself back onto the sofa. “Are you sure you want to face her again on your own?”

“I can do it. I’ll be fine.” As much as he wanted Todd by his side, as much as knowing he was there would give him courage, knowing he wasn’t safe would haunt him as it had before. But Todd looked concerned, and even just that made him feel a little less afraid.

“Alright. If you’re sure,” Todd stood again, releasing Dirk’s grip from his sleeve. He stopped, turning back to point at Dirk, “But if you come back half-dead, I’m not cleaning up after you. So just… make sure you come back without any mortal wounds.”

 

Dirk took Todd’s words to heart. As he pulled up to the hotel, he fitted his newly repaired mask to his face and his wings to his back, taking a moment to breathe before entering the building.

“Hi,” He put on his most charming smile as he approached the reception, “I’m looking for someone I believe is staying at your lovely hotel here. I wonder if you could help me find a blood-coated woman with matted hair, ripped clothes and probably blue eyes?”

The receptionist’s expression grew more alarmed by the second. “U-Um, I haven’t noticed anyone fitting that description…”

“You!” Someone cut in – not Bart’s voice, but he did remember hearing it before. When he turned, the man who had stopped Bart from murdering him was pointing at him in shock. “You’re that guy!”

“Yes!” He clapped his hands excitedly, “And you’re _that_ guy!” He made to walk towards him – but he turned and ran. “Wait!” Dirk called after him, picking up the pace, and reached the door in time to see him climb into a car and drive away.

Dirk hurried down the hotel’s grand set of stairs, struggling to tuck in his wings as he went without falling. He clambered into his own car, taking off in pursuit.

He had never been one for sensible driving in the first place. There were a lot of rules, and really, not all of them were very important. It was difficult to remember every one of them when all they did was slow him down. Eating while driving, for example, saved a lot of time on lunch breaks. On this particular occasion, he didn’t need a lunch break, but he did need to drive a little over the speed limit to keep up. Or perhaps a lot. He wasn’t entirely certain of the speed limits in America.

He swerved around a corner, waving an apology to a startled housecat as they tore through a quaint neighbourhood. His target seemed to be slowing down. It was nice of them to respect the neighbours, Dirk thought. He did the same, but not by much, lest he lost sight of them. But the car wasn’t just slowing down – it was stopping. Not in the middle of the road like last time, but pulling over. Dirk didn’t have time for that. He drew his car up beside them, abandoning it in the middle of the road.

Climbing out of his car, he found himself standing face to face with Bart. A group of children playing nearby looked at each other in terror and fled. Later, they would return with their parents, concerned about the lady covered in blood and the man with the wings and mask. By that time, Dirk and Bart would be long gone.

“Didn’t I scare you enough last time?” Bart grunted, “What, do I need to actually kill you? Because I can.”

Dirk resisted the urge to plead with her. He had only just removed the bandage the day before, and the wound still darkened his face. Instead he steeled himself and said, “I’m here to put a stop to your crimes.”

“My what?” Bart’s eyebrows creased.

“Your murders. You’ve killed one too many people. Or… a lot too many people, actually.”

Bart shrugged, taking a step forwards. She didn’t seem to be armed, but Dirk matched her step with a backwards one of his own anyway. He didn’t doubt she would find some way to kill him if she chose. “I only kill people who’re supposed to die,” She said, “You know. Bad people. I’m just doing what you’re doing.”

Dirk’s initial reaction should have been to refute her claim. He was absolutely not doing what she was doing, having never murdered in his life, even if they were both semi-efficiently getting rid of criminals and hopefully making the world, or Seattle, a safer place. But this was not his reaction. Instead, he gaped at her, taking a few seconds to form words, “You’re… one of the others.”

“You just realised?” Bart huffed a laugh, her grin only making her appear more terrifying. “You were Project Icarus, I was Project Marzanna, it makes sense. Why’d you keep the name?”

“It… it works well enough as an alias. They told me I shouldn’t tell anyone my real name, it would put them in danger.”

“They lied. They’re always in danger.”

Dirk swallowed harshly, thinking of Todd. Was he still in his apartment, safe behind locked doors? Was he really putting him in such danger just by sticking around?

Would it be better if he stayed to protect him, or left him altogether?

That wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on. He clenched his fists, spitting words at Bart, “That is not why I’m here. We are not the same. I am trying to help people. All you’re doing is killing them. And while your intentions may be… questionably good, your method is really rather wrong.”

“What’s so wrong about it?” Bart asked. She didn’t appear to be joking, which threw him off a little.

“It’s… murder? Murder is illegal, Bart,” He said.

“So?” Bart shrugged, “Lots of things are illegal. That doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to do them.”

Despite his fear, and concern, and apprehension, and the homicidal ‘superhero’ in front of him, Dirk scoffed at her ridiculous sentiment. “Oh, really? Give me one example.”

Bart considered this, staring off into space for one minute, verging on two, before looking back at him and confidently replying, “Murder.”

“That’s not- No,” Dirk floundered, “Murder is most definitely on the list of things you are not supposed to do.”

“Why, though? I’m only killing people I’m supposed to kill. Like bad people,” Bart raised a hand, and Dirk found himself staring down the barrel of a gun. He hadn’t seen her pick it up – how long had she had it? Suddenly the stakes felt much higher. “And you, maybe.”

Dirk stepped back, pressing himself against his car. “Y-You’re not going to kill me. Your friend told you not to.” His hand crept towards the door handle. If he could just get into the car and get a head start on her…

“You mean Ken?” Bart laughed, which wasn’t a very pleasant sound, “You’re hilarious. He’s not my babysitter, I don’t do everything he says. I just didn’t feel like killing you last time. But if you’re gonna keep getting in my way…”

The gun fired.

Dirk yelped, squeezed his eyes closed, prepared for the pain to hit. When nothing happened, and he was still surprisingly conscious, he cracked one eye open. His car window was splintered, and when he turned slightly he could see the bullet lodged in the leather seat.

“Don’t think I don’t see you trying to get away,” Bart grunted. “It’s rude to drive away when someone’s talking to you.”

“Right. Of course,” Dirk nodded hastily, “But what if I don’t drive?” He raised his eyebrows in triumph just briefly before running. He could come back for the car later. His life was his most valuable possession for now.

“That’s still rude!” Bart called after him. He heard her reload the gun, and in retaliation, picked a conveniently large stone from the ground and twisted, hurling it at her. There often seemed to be conveniently large stones around when the situation called for it. Dirk ought to thank the universe for its consideration in that regard.

His stone appeared to be on the right track, until it swerved mid-flight and dropped harmlessly to the ground. Bart looked unimpressed. Dirk swore and kept going, tripping over his own feet. Running in a straight line was not the best way to avoid being shot, he thought – there was a much better way out of this situation.

His wings lifted him from the ground as they unfolded, slightly precariously at first; he dropped before he managed to soar, but before long he had settled into the comfortable pattern of flight. As Bart and the cars shrunk beneath him, he heard a faint gunshot; a bullet clipped his wing, throwing him off balance, but he was safely out of range.

He stopped, hovering in place. Far below, Bart shrugged and threw away her gun. Dirk didn’t stay to see what she would do next. The car could wait there for him. He was going back to Todd’s apartment, hoping Todd would still be there to greet him, and probably not leaving his side for a good length of time.

 

Todd was, in fact, still there when he returned. However, he had to push aside his relief. That could be dealt with later, if need be; the more pressing issue right now was Todd’s face.

Unfortunately, the issue with Todd’s face wasn’t that it was attractive (which it was), but rather that it was fixed in a worried frown. This wasn’t unusual for Todd. But his position, curled up by the window, just out of the line of sight of the sidewalk but close enough to lean his head against the wall and stare out – that was what alerted Dirk that something was maybe not wrong, but maybe not quite right either.

“Todd?” He asked, maybe a bit too loudly, because Todd’s head snapped up in surprise.

“You’re back,” He said, and the way he said it made Dirk wonder if Todd hadn’t expected him to come back at all.

“I am,” He felt his own face slip into a matching frown as he removed his mask, discarding it on the nearest surface and walking over to the window, “What’s wrong?”

To his surprise, Todd took him by the sleeve and dragged him away from the window. “Uh, is there supposed to be someone following you?”

Dirk’s heart skipped in panic. Words repeating in his head – _they’re here they’re here_ – weakened his limbs. He forced himself to breathe, to focus on Todd’s face, Todd’s increasingly worried look as Dirk’s panic wrote itself across his face, Todd’s hand reaching towards him-

No, his brain hadn’t processed the hand on time. Unwillingly, he gasped at the contact, jerking his arm away. Todd dropped his hand. He took a step back, looking uncertain, looking hurt. It felt like fire in Dirk’s already turbulent chest.

“I…” He wanted to apologise, but his mind was preoccupied, “Following me?”

“There was a car outside. I noticed it this morning. It sat here until you left, and then it disappeared. Something seemed off about it, like, I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I watched from the window. It came back maybe five minutes ago. Around the same time you did.” Todd leaned over to look out of the window again, “Holy shit, is that your car? What happened to the window?”

Startled, Dirk fumbled over to the window, and sure enough there was his car, the window entirely smashed now, abandoned by the side of the road. He most definitely had not been the one to drive it back, and he doubted it would have been Bart or Ken. Which meant…

Maybe it just meant some kindly neighbour had driven it home for him.

He doubted it.

“Dirk? Are you okay?” Todd was watching him. His hands tensed on the windowsill. “Is it bad?”

“Yes. No. Everything’s… fine,” He lied, “This should be nothing to worry about.” He closed the curtains all the same.

Todd nodded, retreating to the sofa, “How did it go with Bart?”

“Not… disastrously, at least,” Dirk admitted, glad for something else to turn his attention to. It was difficult to get the mystery car out of his head altogether, at least until an idea struck him. “Actually, I might just call for backup right now.”

 

Some situations just called for Farah Black. She was the only other contact Dirk had, more an acquaintance than a friend, having met before he had even started looking into Dorian. Their relationship was an odd one of Dirk having investigated the murder of her boss (who, as it turned out, had been part of some very dodgy dealings in secret, and so Dirk was inclined to think it was related to his current target), and Farah having saved him from multiple potentially dangerous, probably embarrassing situations, and yet neither of them having settled long enough over the course of the murder inquiry to have a real conversation.

But if there was one person besides Todd that he trusted to have his back, it was Farah. And not just because he couldn’t think of anyone else.

She knocked on Todd’s apartment door the following morning, without Dirk having noticed any kind of vehicle approach. Either she was very stealthy, or close enough to walk. He had chosen to forego the mask in the interest of simplicity – this was apparently no concern to Farah, who didn’t even bat an eyelid when he let her in. “Hey,” She nodded a greeting, briefly introducing herself to Todd.

“We have two issues,” Dirk began. After a brief pause to consider the truth of his words, he amended, “Well, two main issues which hopefully you can assist us with. One, the apprehension of our serial killer, known only as Bart, and two… uh, finding out exactly what that strange vehicle wants with me.”

“Okay…” Farah nodded, a slight frown twisting her features as she moved to peer out of the window. “Do they know you’re on to them?”

“Bart certainly does,” He answered breezily, “And it’s entirely possible the mystery strangers do, too. We have done a lot of staring out the window, and really, Todd is not the most subtle of people…”

“I’m- what?” Todd spluttered, “You’re the one who insisted on getting up to look out the curtains at least three times before you fell asleep last night. How much sleep did you even get?” His tone was exasperated, but Dirk wondered if (or maybe just hoped that) the downturn of his lips was a hint of genuine concern.

“Enough,” He said. He hadn’t slept well at all, but Todd didn’t need him to worry about.

“Alright… We need to make sure they really are following you,” Farah said, drawing the curtains closed as she finished her surveillance. “It could be someone else in the building who happened to be away at the same time you were. I mean, I doubt it, but… just to be certain. You both up for a drive?”

 

At Todd’s suggestion, they piled into his car (Dirk would have preferred to drive himself, but he still hadn’t cleared away the broken glass, which might be hazardous, and Todd refused to let him behind the wheel) and headed for Amanda’s. Farah was armed in the back seat, which did very little to make Dirk feel any better – he found himself constantly checking the mirrors, searching for the car.

They were twenty minutes into the drive when Farah gave a soft gasp and whispered, “I can see them. They must have been concealing themselves the whole way, keeping enough distance that we wouldn’t spot them. What do you want me to do, Icarus?”

It was odd to hear his alias used without the mask and wings on, but fair, since he hadn’t told Farah his real name. His face was only one part of his identity, and so only half as risky as knowing his name, too – that kind of double danger was reserved for Todd, for now.

Todd answered before he could. “I don’t want to drive these guys straight to Amanda’s,” He said, “Can we stop somewhere? Try and lose them somehow?”

“Yes, good idea, Todd,” Dirk agreed, though he wasn’t entirely sure stopping _was_ a good idea. Fleeing felt safer. But he was with Farah and Todd, and his pursuers couldn’t hurt him. “Would anyone like a milkshake?”

 

They pulled into a diner not far from the road, all three trying to appear less tense than they were as they went inside. Taking a table by the window, Dirk shuffled into the booth beside Todd, gazing out over the car park, searching for some sign that they were here, too.

“Hey,” Todd waved a hand between him and the window, “Stop.”

“He’s right,” Farah agreed, “We're being too obvious. All of us. Let’s just sit back and… and try to enjoy some food.” Despite her words, Farah looked almost as jittery as he felt, and Todd wasn't much better.

Dirk forced his gaze away from outside, staring down at his hands wringing on the table top instead. As Farah placed their orders with the waitress, he felt Todd lean into his side and murmur, “I thought you said this was nothing to worry about.”

Dirk forced himself to smile. Todd was easy to smile at. “It is,” He chimed, “Probably. It will be fine. This happens sometimes. I would just have preferred it didn't happen right now. I am rather enjoying being alive, and living with you, and being very close to apprehending a mysterious murderer, and…”

“You know who they are, don't you?” Todd looked at him in surprise.

He hesitated before replying, “…No.” It wasn’t strictly a lie. He didn’t know _who_ they were – he just had a pretty good idea of what they wanted. Todd didn’t look convinced, but accepted his answer nonetheless. He drew back, and their private world was gone, something Dirk found rather too disappointing for his own good.

“So, let’s talk about your other issue,” Farah re-joined the conversation, “You say you know the killer’s name now?”

Glad for further distraction, Dirk nodded enthusiastically, “Yes! Her name is Bart, although I did hear her… friend? Say that she’s supposed to go by Marzanna. Therefore, I assume she is something like me, but a rather poor version.”

“You mean like a…” Farah trailed off, waving a hand in replacement for a word she couldn’t place. Dirk filled it in for her.

“A superhero?”

“…I mean. That wasn’t what I was going for,” She tilted her head, “But okay. That… works. I suppose.”

Dirk nodded, a little proud of himself for making Farah call him a superhero, “For lack of a better word, yes. Only she’s more of a super _villain._ ”

“With good intentions,” Todd cut in, “She only kills criminals, right? So, in a way she is a superhero, but one with a shit method.”

“A villainous superhero,” Dirk pondered this idea, “It definitely defies all concepts of what constitutes a superhero, and I do not like being put into the same category as this woman at all, but I do see where you’re coming from. Your boss, for example, Farah…”

“Oh, God,” Farah groaned, “Don’t remind me.”

“What happened with your boss?” Todd asked.

“He was… essentially part of the mafia,” She grimaced, “Shady dealings, blackmail, the occasional assassination… I had no idea. I did think it was odd, the amount of people I had to beat up on a weekly basis, but I’d never been a bodyguard before, I mean, I didn’t have any experience to compare it to so I just thought that was what _happened_ when you were a business mogul, you know? But apparently it’s not, and I only found out when this ‘superhero’ woman showed up with a machete…”

“Um,” Someone interrupted. “Large chocolate milkshake?”

Their waitress looked suitably horrified as she placed their orders on the table. She hurried away, much faster than she really needed to, paling by the second. The three were left in stunned silence, unsure what to make of this bizarre situation. Hopefully the waitress would assume they had been discussing a movie rather than reality.

The silence was broken by Todd’s laughter. Dirk’s head snapped up to look at him. This, he thought, was the first time he had seen Todd laugh so freely, and he wasn’t entirely certain what he was finding so funny, but now Dirk was laughing too, and he could hear Farah join their chorus. “God,” Todd sighed, his face shining, “Is this my life now?” He smiled at Dirk, whose insides did something odd. He said nothing in reply, just met Todd’s gaze and mirrored his expression.

Farah cleared her throat.

Todd turned away. Dirk didn’t.

His smile melted into one of fondness, a warmth radiating from inside him so different to anything he had felt before but so comfortable he was not fazed in the slightest. If this was what making a friend laugh felt like (even if he hadn’t been directly responsible, it still felt like an achievement), Dirk would very much like to do it more often, possibly with other, new friends too. On the other hand, he found he couldn’t imagine being with anyone but Todd in this situation, and didn’t want to, either.

Some time must have passed – a good few minutes at least, although Dirk had registered not a second of it – before Todd looked back at him, eyebrows raised but a soft smile still lingering. “Are you alright?” He asked. The moment Dirk opened his mouth to reply, something stopped him.

An engine revved outside. He knew that sound. He felt the smile drop from his face, his eyes widen, still not leaving Todd’s. Todd’s expression also turned serious. “Hey,” He reached out, nudged his arm, “What’s wrong?”

“We need to leave,” Dirk stood sharply.

Todd caught his wrist, “Woah, hang on, what’s going on? Is it the people in the car? Did you see something?”

Dirk shook his head violently, “A very different people in a very different car, who are a much more immediate danger to us, particularly to me, so I would _really_ appreciate if we just left this place as soon as possible…”

Farah had also stood. “We can’t leave without paying,” She pointed out, ever the sensible one, “I’ll do that.” She shot Todd a look, one that probably suggested taking his rather terrified friend out of the building; Dirk was too busy being said rather terrified friend to really read her expression, but given the context he assumed it was something along those lines.

“Okay, let’s get going,” Todd nodded, pausing to down an impressive amount of milkshake before nudging Dirk out of the booth and following. He turned back to look at Farah, who was rifling through her jacket pockets for cash, leaving Dirk bouncing on his feet impatiently. By the time she had dropped enough to cover their order onto the table, Dirk had shuffled halfway to the door.

Todd caught up with him quickly, jogging to match his pace as they stepped out of the diner – and were stopped by four men, each carrying some kind of menacing, dangerous-looking object, grinning expectantly at Dirk from beside a trashy van.

One of them stepped forwards. “Peek-a-boo,” He said. Chaos ensued.

Over the chorus of yells, whoops and smashing car windows, Dirk cried, “Run!” He did so himself, stumbling over his own feet as he tried to find the safest path back to Todd’s car. The treacherous journey involved a few instances of throwing himself behind parked cars, only for that car to become the next target of one of the four, and for Dirk to be forced on to the next one.

Somehow, during one of Dirk’s attempts at hiding, Farah must have made it to the car, because it pulled up beside him as he was looking around frantically for the best place to run to. Since the best place was probably into the car, he threw the door open and tumbled into the backseat as Todd, who had been cowering against the wall of the diner, did the same.

“How did you get my keys?” Todd panted.

“I didn’t,” Farah replied with no further explanation, sounding almost sheepish.

A metallic thud and an ear-splitting whoop alerted them to the fact that one of the men was somehow on the roof. Farah swore and accelerated sharply, swerving out of the car park and onto the road. “Wow,” Dirk said, praying they had managed to shake off their assailant, “You’re almost as good a driver as me.”

“I’ve seen you drive, Dirk,” Farah called over the sound of the engine, “And I want you to know that I am a perfectly capable and safe driver, and the only reason I’m doing this is because there’s less chance of Todd’s car being wrecked by unsafe driving than by four maniacs right now!” In a normal volume, she added, “Don’t worry about your car, Todd, it should be fine once we lose them.”

“…Thanks, Farah,” Todd said weakly, looking no less horrified than he had before.

Silence fell after a while of intense driving, and Farah slowed down, regaining her composure. “They’re gone,” She said, “I think. On the plus side, we must have lost the other car by now.”

“Great!” Dirk chirped, “Let’s go see Amanda.”

 

Amanda seemed delighted to be introduced to Farah. “Hi! I love your jacket,” She beamed, taking Farah by the wrist and leading her inside, “Come on in. It’s been so long since I’ve had a real conversation with another girl.”

Todd caught Dirk’s arm as he moved to follow, stopping him before he could leave the corridor. “You okay?” He gave him a half-smile, which Dirk returned, much brighter.

“Yes! I’m absolutely fine. I am secure in the knowledge that nobody is currently trying to kill me.”

Todd nodded, dropped his hand and walked towards the room. Dirk suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to confess something Todd probably hadn’t even questioned.

“I lied,” He said, “Earlier.” Todd turned to him, brows furrowed in confusion. “Well… I didn’t lie, exactly. But I didn’t tell you the whole truth, either.”

“Dirk, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Todd said.

“I… I think I do know who is following me. Or, not exactly who it is, it could be a whole range of people, but… I know what they want with me. I think. And it’s…” He took a deep breath, “It’s not good.”

Todd nodded. “You don’t have to talk about it. I mean, if you don’t want to.”

Cheered again, Dirk patted Todd’s shoulder. “Thank you, Todd,” He said as he walked past to join Amanda and Farah in the living room.

“I’m going to make coffee,” Todd popped his head around the door, “You guys want some?”

“Tea, for me, please,” Dirk requested as the girls shook their heads.

“I don’t have any tea,” Amanda said, followed by, “Oh my god, you’re not wearing your mask!” She leaned forward on the sofa, grinning, “Does that mean we get to know your secret identity?”

“I- uh…” Dirk hesitated, and Amanda laughed.

“I’m kidding,” She waved a hand, “I’ve seen plenty of superhero movies. If we don’t know who you are, we can’t be used against you, right?”

He nodded, sitting down on the other sofa, “Yes, I suppose that’s true. It keeps you safer.”

“But is it really going to make a difference if we know your _name,_ now that we know your face?”

“I don’t know,” Dirk admitted, “I don’t really know a whole lot about how to be a superhero. I’m just going with the flow, really.”

“Yeah, we can tell,” He thought he heard Farah murmur, but decided to let it slide with only a slightly accusatory frown.

Amanda gave him a sly look, “Does Todd know your real name?” Dirk had no idea what the look combined with a suspicious tone of voice was supposed to insinuate, but he nodded cheerily nonetheless.

“He does. He’s done rather well at not revealing it so far,” He beamed at the girls, “Todd is my closest confidante.”

“Didn’t you only meet him… two weeks ago?” Farah asked.

“Almost three, technically,” Dirk chimed, “There was the initial meeting outside Todd’s apartment before I saved him from certain demise and started living with him.”

Before Farah could respond, Amanda made an odd noise and let out a shaky breath. She was staring at her hand, trembling in front of her face, looking terrified. “Amanda?” Farah asked, alarmed. “What is it, what’s happening? Amanda!”

From the kitchen, something clattered, and a few moments later Todd dashed into the room, dropping to his knees beside his sister. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” He soothed, and then glancing back at Dirk, “Get the pill bottle from the bathroom, quickly!”

Dirk stood – and the window shattered.

“Not now…” He groaned, watching on in paralysed horror as the Rowdy Three climbed into the room.

“Pills!” Todd snapped, doing his very best to ignore what was happening around him as Farah stood, looking as though she intended to take on all four of the Three at once. Dirk nodded and ran.

Rummaging through the bathroom cupboards, he listened for the destruction of Amanda’s house. He hadn’t even heard the Rowdies’ van approach. How could he have missed that? And now the place would be wrecked, and Todd would be angry with him, and Amanda was probably dying, and he didn’t even know which pill bottle he was supposed to be bringing so he picked up one that looked right and hurried back to Amanda.

When he returned, ready to call Todd’s name to catch the pill bottle, his words died in his throat. Todd was no longer beside Amanda – he was on the other sofa, hugging his knees to his chest and watching on in alarm. The Rowdy Three had circled Amanda, and seemed to be draining the energy from her. If Dirk was honest, this was a welcome change to them draining his energy, and Amanda seemed to be calming, so he did nothing to intervene.

The leader of the Rowdies straightened, shooting a glare in Dirk’s direction. His only comfort under Martin’s terror-inducing gaze was that he was most likely not angry at him in particular, and this was just how he looked at people in general. “I got news for you,” He announced. Then he gestured to the others and left out the window.

Dirk stared after them. It would have been nice of Martin to tell him the news. But he wasn’t about to go after them. He would find out eventually, when he was supposed to. The universe would let him know. He held out the pill bottle to Todd and said, “Here you go.”

Todd took them, shuffling over to Amanda, who had sat up and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I don’t need them,” She waved Todd off, “Whatever they did, it worked.” She looked at the broken window, but seemed unconcerned by it. “Maybe I should keep them around.”

 

Despite Todd’s protests, Amanda had elected Farah to stay with her, and sent him and Dirk home. Todd drove in silence, which Dirk happily filled with his own chatter. They had already pulled up to the apartment when Todd asked, “What did those guys do to Amanda? Who even were they?”

“The Rowdy Three,” Dirk said as he left the car, “They’re… not like me, but something else. I don’t know whose interests they have in mind, apart from their own, but things usually seem to work out all right. I like to stay well away, however, because when it comes to my involvement it can be rather unpleasant. They… feed on my energy, in short.”

Todd didn’t seem to want to question this. He stared at Dirk for a few moments as if considering it, but shook his head and headed inside.

When Dirk caught up with him, Todd was rummaging around in his bedroom, which Dirk had never actually been inside. He seized the opportunity now to examine every detail about the room. It seemed rather average – by far the most interesting thing was the torn poster on the wall. “What’s a Mexican Funeral?”

Todd started, as if he had forgotten Dirk would be there. “That was my band,” He said, though the way he said it made it sound like a shameful confession. Dirk’s excitement levels skyrocketed.

“You were in a band? How wonderful!”

Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Todd turned slightly red at Dirk’s enthusiastic expression. “Yeah. Well. It didn’t end well, but I still play. And write songs, sometimes.”

“Play me one of your songs,” Dirk requested. Todd looked hesitant. Catching sight of Todd’s guitar propped in the corner, he took it upon himself to bring him it, eyebrows raised expectantly as he held it out. Todd laughed softly, taking the guitar and settling on his bed with it.

He looked nervous suddenly, glancing up at Dirk but not quite meeting his gaze, focusing on something over his shoulder instead. “You can, um, sit, if you want,” He said, awkwardly patting the bed beside him.

“Gladly,” Dirk bounded over, perching on the edge of the bed beside him.

Under Dirk’s relentlessly eager study, Todd began to play. It wasn’t anything he would have expected from Todd, a soft melody as opposed to the grungy punk his band poster suggested, but it was still so clearly _Todd._ Mesmerised by the music – he was _good,_ better than Dirk could have imagined – it took him a moment to register that he had started singing, too.

He sang so quietly Dirk couldn’t make out most of the words, but he could have sworn he heard something about blue eyes and golden wings.

Really, it was a bit rude of Todd to use _his_ wings as a metaphor to sing about someone else.

Todd stopped playing, glancing up at him apprehensively, and Dirk’s expression must have satisfied him, because he smiled. He shifted slightly, ending up closer, his knee brushing Dirk’s hand. Dirk could certainly get used to this, a comfortable silence between them, nothing of importance but the two of them alone in the universe, just watching. Watching each other and waiting, not knowing what they were waiting for.

Todd’s lips moved slightly as he mumbled something, but Dirk wasn’t listening. He was thinking about kissing him.

Could he? Should he? Why did he want to? Maybe it was a fleeting thought, one not entirely based on his own desires but more his own impulses. Maybe Todd would abandon him if he gave in to the urge, leaving him alone again. Being alone in the universe was a lot less pleasant with nobody by your side. Dirk already knew that feeling. He didn’t want to know it again.

Was he just using Todd to feel less lonely?

He didn’t think so.

Todd stood, his movements almost jerky, as if he was forcing himself to go against his own will. “I’m gonna go make food or something,” He said softly, disappearing out of the room, leaving Dirk to tighten his grip on Todd’s bedcovers and try to control his breathing.

He really ought to leave.

 

Dirk woke the next morning to a blaring car alarm.

Dashing to the window, he found the lights flashing wildly on his car, and none other than Bart standing beside it. Todd had emerged from his room, blinking at him, looking irritated. Rather than stay to face his early-morning wrath, Dirk bolted out of the apartment, grabbing his mask on the way.

“Bart!” He called as he took the stairs two at a time, “What are you doing here? Are you here to turn yourself in?”

“’Course not,” Bart said, “I’m here because this is where I need to be.”

“…Standing outside my- I mean, my _friend’s_ apartment?”

Bart only shrugged in response, and said, “Universe.” This was enough of an explanation for Dirk.

“Right, of course. But I don’t understand, why does it want you _here_?” He queried, stepping forward to stand a polite distance from her, adopting a defensive stance to avoid being murdered.

Bart shrugged again, laughing at his position. “You can relax,” She said, “I’m not going to kill you anymore.”

“Oh. Great. That’s excellent.” Dirk wasn’t even sure he was being sarcastic. The car alarm was still wailing – he leaned carefully through the broken window and prodded at buttons until it stopped. He didn’t want to know what Bart had been trying to do to set it off in the first place.

“So?” Bart prompted. When Dirk looked at her incredulously, she went on, “Tell me why I’m here.”

“ _Me_ tell _you_? What makes you think _I_ know?”

“Well, I gotta be here for some reason, and it’s your house.”

“It’s- It’s not my house.”

“Then why are you here?”

Dirk tried not to think too far into that. He was already having enough of an internal debate over whether he really should have moved in with Todd at all. “I’m staying with a friend,” He answered.

“That your friend?” Bart pointed to the door of the Ridgely. Sure enough, Todd was standing there, watching them bleary-eyed, hugging his bare arms to his chest. Dirk waved. Todd didn’t wave back, but walked towards him, giving Bart a cautious look.

“Sun’s barely up,” He muttered, “It’s way too early for this.”

Dirk answered with a simple, “Good morning, Todd. You can go back to sleep if you’d rather.”

He didn’t get a chance to, because any reply he would have given was drowned out by a screeching engine as the Rowdies’ van swerved to a stop in the middle of the road. Todd looked suitably outraged.

The four climbed out of the van, but in contrast to their usual bedlam, there was no yelling, no smashing, just Martin strolling over to stand between Dirk and Bart.

“What are you doing here?” Dirk asked, growing gradually more concerned.

“Told you I had news,” Martin said coolly. “My boys and I had the same dream. Don’t know where it came from, but it looks like they want us back.”

He had been right to be concerned. Concern, in fact, was a tremendous understatement.

“Who’s they?” Todd asked Dirk. Dirk couldn’t reply. He pressed his lips together, practically able to feel the colour draining from his face. He had known it. He had known it, but he hadn’t wanted to believe it. And now he had to face it.

Bart looked unfazed. “CIA,” She answered Todd, and then addressed Martin, “Why?”

Martin shrugged. “Guess they decided we’ve gotten too out of control.” He looked pointedly at Todd, then his gaze slid to Dirk. “Wouldn’t surprise me if they come for you first, Icarus. Be prepared.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Dirk tried to ask, but the words would hardly leave his mouth. God, he sounded so pathetic, he could feel Todd’s worry radiating from him.

“Didn’t seem fair for us to get a head start.” Martin turned his back, walked away to his van, but stopped to call over his shoulder, “Good luck.” With the Rowdy Three gone, Bart apparently decided that had been the only reason the universe had wanted her there, because she gave a satisfied nod and bid Dirk goodbye.

“The CIA? The actual goddamn CIA?” Anger lit a fire behind Todd’s eyes. Dirk couldn’t tell what he was angry at. “What the hell?!” When he flinched, Todd stopped, took a deep breath and began to ask, “Are you…”

“Fine,” Dirk cut him off, sounding far too shaky to be believed. He didn’t give Todd a chance to question him, but ran back inside and up the stairs to the apartment.

Tears threatened to spill, but he forced them down. Now was not a time for crying like a child. Now was a time for thinking sensibly about his options and figuring out the best way to keep both himself and Todd safe.

But apparently, his emotions had other ideas, and they believed that now was a time for panicking.

A noise that was not quite a whimper escaped him as he threw open the door and paced Todd’s apartment, circling the sofa once, twice, three times before dropping heavily onto it. Being ninety percent certain that the CIA were following him was one thing. Being one hundred percent certain that they were trying to take him back there was another thing entirely.

He couldn’t go there again. He buried his face in his hands, breathed into the space between his palms, scrubbed at his eyes harshly as if he could wipe away the image of that place. He wouldn’t go there again. He couldn’t face them, he couldn’t go back and suffer everything they did and everything they would do, he couldn’t leave so completely because now he had friends, now he had-

_Todd._ Todd had burst into the room, panting slightly. “Dirk,” He said, and whatever he had been about to say next was forgotten the moment he laid eyes on him, because instead he said very plainly, “You’re not fine.”

That was enough to draw a twisted sob from him. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. He refused to let himself cry.

“Okay, just…” Todd approached him as if he were an animal, likely to take fright and run at any moment, “Just breathe. You’re okay. You’re safe here.”

_I’m not,_ he thought, _and neither are you._ He couldn’t say the words aloud. He couldn’t say anything aloud. He did as Todd said, tried to focus on calming his racing heart, but his mind stayed elsewhere.

_They want us back._

Dirk had lived his whole life (his whole life having began the moment he left Project Blackwing in the first place, because nothing of that time could ever be counted as a life) constantly looking behind his back. Constantly worried that the day would come when they would turn up at his door, knowing no amount of moving around could delay their arrival. Constantly alone.

And then there was Todd, crouching in front of him in his pyjamas, one hand resting on his knee, his eyes still tired but trying his very best to be awake for Dirk, and now was a terrible time to realise how much he loved him.

_Wouldn’t surprise me if they come for you first, Icarus._

_Icarus._

Ironic, wasn’t it, that the name he had been assigned would end up fitting so nicely. He who flew blindly into the sun would always be burned in the end. His unravelling would come in the form of this messy, beautiful man, who had lasted barely a day resisting him, who had let him stay even despite (or maybe just blissfully unaware of) the danger he was putting himself in, who had written songs about his wings and whom Dirk had sworn to protect, and now wanted to protect even more – Todd, who was more like a rain cloud than sunshine, but was his sun nonetheless.

His hands still pressed to his face, his mind still reeling with thoughts of him, he watched Todd between fingers. “Are you okay?” Todd asked again, looking as lost as Dirk felt, and as he looked into his eyes all Dirk could think was, _Oh._

“Dirk,” Todd reached out a hand to pry Dirk’s away from his face. Dirk let him. “Look at me.”

_I already am,_ he thought, _I never want to look away._

Because out there, somewhere, was reality. Out there were bad people, people who wanted to hurt him, people who wanted to see him suffer alone. But in here there was only Todd, and even Dirk himself became insignificant, a welcome retreat from his usual status of highly significant. In here there was Todd, and there was Dirk, as there had been before, and Todd knew him as Dirk, and Icarus had never existed.

Todd’s fingers uncurled from his wrists, but he didn’t retreat. Instead he sat on the sofa beside him, wrapped his arms around Dirk’s back, pulled him closer than Dirk had been to anyone before, and it almost shocked the tears into falling freely (but not quite – he still would not cry). He returned the hug just as tightly, pressing his face into Todd’s shoulder first, then the crook of his neck, balling the fabric of his shirt under tense fists until his chest felt less constricted and he could breathe again.

He had never expected such a show of affection from Todd, but here he was, rubbing circles on his back in a way Dirk had never experienced and never wanted to stop. Perhaps this was his way of caring for him, as he did his sister. Perhaps Dirk had misread him. Perhaps he was a secret hugger, but his seemingly perpetual states of irritation and confusion prevented him from seizing every hugging opportunity he came across. Perhaps he had just run out of ways to calm Dirk.

Whichever it was, he thought, Todd was the strangest sun he had ever had the pleasure of crashing into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was. long. i didn't think it would be long enough and yet here it is, coming in at 8800 words.  
> farah's boss isn't necessarily patrick spring in this universe, but if you want to think of patrick spring as a mafia boss please feel free  
> as always i'm on tumblr at @acegently, where i have a [tag](https://acegently.tumblr.com/tagged/mtg) for this fic! i also have a [pinterest board](https://uk.pinterest.com/abbie9762/fic-make-them-gold/) and [spotify playlist](https://play.spotify.com/user/abbie.e3/playlist/3wVcif80xvUq1EEumFNqZS), all of which are works in progress.  
> (and as you can see, i've given up pretending to be civilized with petty things such as capital letters)


	3. before the night will end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm scared, but if my heart's gonna break  
>  **before the night will end,**  
>  i said, ooh,  
> we're in danger,  
> sleeping with a friend  
> -sleeping with a friend; neon trees

“Yes, I think it's best we leave it for now.”

_“Are you sure? Just the other day you wanted her off the streets immediately, is leaving it really the best option for everyone’s safety?”_

Dirk had his phone on loudspeaker, which meant Todd could hear every word of his conversation with Farah. He had insisted that everyone in the room (i.e. Todd) be able to participate, even if the conversation was largely irrelevant to him. Todd couldn't quite decide whether this was endearing or just plain annoying, but he was leaning towards the latter.

“Well, I'm sure Bart has enough to concern herself with for now so hopefully that will slow down the murder sprees,” Dirk said through a mouthful of cereal, which he had been determined to eat despite Todd’s offers to make him some real dinner food. “Also, I’m inclined to believe that if she noticed anyone following her right now that person’s life would not last much longer, so it is definitely best to put a hold on the tailing until a later date.”

_“Why, is something going on?”_ Farah sounded concerned.

“Nothing to worry about!” Dirk chirped in reply, overly cheerful, “Goodbye, Farah!” He hung up, now dedicating his attention solely to his cereal.

Todd slumped onto the sofa beside him, casting a brief gaze over Dirk; his hands were slightly tense, but his face seemed relaxed enough. Whenever Todd looked at him (more often than he cared to admit), his thoughts kept drifting back a few days, to Dirk curled in a quaking ball on his sofa, holding back tears with everything he had, his hands clenched in the back of Todd’s shirt. He didn't know why he had hugged him. It wasn't his usual style. But he had been lost as to another option, and it seemed to have been the right thing to do, because Dirk had slowly returned to himself. He had stayed in his arms for so long Todd had worried he had fallen asleep on him, but found he wouldn't really have minded even if he had. The only other person Todd had hugged so tightly was his sister, and yet any time he saw a flicker of fear, any time he saw Dirk’s thoughts begin to slip away, he was overcome with the urge to hug him again.

He never did. So far he had been able to ground Dirk in reality with just a few words, even just a light nudge. He could tell Dirk was trying so hard to forget about the CIA and whatever had brought such panic upon him, but it was difficult, and so Todd made sure to be there as his safety net to pull him back to his feet when he needed him. He had hardly left Dirk’s side for anything but bathroom breaks and sleep in days.

And then there was the lingering sense that something had shifted that day. Todd had felt it between them, he had been sure at the time, but nothing seemed to have changed at all. Perhaps he had imagined it. He didn't even know what _it_ was.

Dirk had paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth, smiling at Todd in bemusement. “Everything okay?”

Todd blinked. “What? No, yeah, everything's fine. I mean, I was just… thinking, I guess… are you okay?”

“Me?” Dirk’s face lit up – but he very quickly schooled his features into nonchalance in an odd, twisted way that only served to make Todd laugh at his extravagant expressions. “Of course. I'm absolutely fine. I'm safe here, and I have you with me, what more could I ask for?”

A smile tugged at Todd’s lips as he tucked his feet under him and reached for the TV remote. It did feel unusually comfortable in his apartment recently, ever since Dirk’s presence had begun to grow on him. He didn't think he would mind, in fact, if this became a permanent arrangement. Part of him hoped it would be. Quite a big part, which he was largely trying to ignore.

He couldn't remember ever feeling so at home with someone before. God, it had been too long since he had had a friend.

 

Things seemed to have settled down. The few days since Bart and the Rowdy Three had appeared had been quiet, peaceful. Even the car from before hadn’t appeared since. After inviting a so-called superhero to live with him, Todd hadn’t expected to get a moment’s peace. Yet Dirk seemed reluctant to go out crime fighting, and understandably so.

“Did you ever clean the glass out of your car?”

“Hmm?” Dirk looked at him, “Oh, no, I didn't. Should I?”

Todd shrugged, “Probably. We might need it, you know, in an emergency or something.” Standing, he grabbed his jacket from where it lay abandoned over a chair. “I'll sort it. You can stay up here if you'd rather.”

Worry flashed across Dirk’s face. “Actually,” He shifted uncomfortably, “I would rather come with you, if it's all the same.”

“Sure,” Todd nodded. He didn't exactly want to encourage Dirk to be dependent on him – a life with some degree of privacy would be nice – but for now he could allow it if only to put his mind at rest.

Just as Dirk threw on his jacket and opened the door, Todd’s phone rang. “Shit,” He fumbled his phone out of his pocket; Amanda's name lit up the screen. “Give me a minute, Dirk, you go on ahead.”

Dirk looked hesitant, but Todd had already turned away to answer the call. After a moment the door slid closed.

“Amanda, hey, is everything okay?” Todd said as soon as he picked up the phone. Something could easily have gone wrong – maybe she had had a particularly bad attack, or some of the strange people Dirk had involved him with had caught up to his sister, or-

“Everything is great,” Amanda sounded thrilled. “I just trashed some old warehouse and it was awesome.”

“You- _what?_ ” Todd spluttered, “Amanda, what the hell is going on?”

From the other end of the line, someone whooped in the background. It sounded suspiciously familiar.

“Nothing's going on! I just called to tell you I managed to leave the house and it went well!”

An engine revved. Todd balked. “Are you- please don't tell me you're with those guys in the van.”

“Okay,” Amanda said, and Todd could picture her shrug, her smile, “I won't tell you.”

“Amanda,” He sighed, running a hand over his face. This only added to his list of problems. The Rowdy Three were as much targets as Dirk was. He was reminded sharply that he had left Dirk to go out alone. “Look, just, be careful, okay? It's not safe to be with them.” _By that logic,_ he thought briefly, _it’s also not safe to be with Dirk._ But he wasn't going to dwell on that too much.

“Todd, they're great. They can stop my attacks, I don't need to be afraid of going outside, it's like… it's like I’ve got my life back.”

Todd couldn't help but smile at that. It did warm him to the idea of his sister hanging around with a bunch of wanted weirdos. She sounded happier than he could remember. “Alright,” He said, “Take care. Love you.”

He hung up, and hurried to catch up with Dirk.

 

Call it a hunch, but Dirk had known it was a bad idea to leave the apartment without Todd. However it probably wouldn't have made much difference had he waited – whatever would happen, it would happen somehow either way. The universe would make sure of it.

He wasn't, therefore, entirely surprised to encounter a familiar face as he left the building.

“Riggins,” He said quietly, the name like a sharp poison in his mouth. He hadn't intended to call on him. Every instinct told him to turn around, go back inside, go back to Todd. But Riggins was waiting specifically for him – he had already seen him leave the building, he was already moving from his place near Dirk’s car, walking towards him. He couldn't run now.

“Icarus,” Riggins stopped a few paces from him. Dirk still tensed, clenching his hands by his sides.

“What do you want?” Dirk asked before he could say anything more. He wished he had thought to put on his wings before he left. Even the mask would have offered a slight reassurance. As it was, he felt bare, acutely aware of his vulnerability. “I left you. I left you and that place for a reason, I'm not going back.” His voice sounded too tight, too shaky, too unconvincing. He reminded himself to breathe.

“It's different this time,” Riggins spoke softly, in a way that made Dirk feel distinctly like a child again. “We just need to make sure everything is under control, and then you'll be free again.”

“And how long will that take?” Dirk tried for a biting tone, though he was unsure he had succeeded, “As long as last time? Years? How much of my life will I have left when I get out? Because… Because I have a life now. And I won't lose that for you to continue your stupid experiments.”

The world was too big, too open. He desperately wanted something to hold onto. He prayed that Todd would hurry.

Riggins wasn't looking at him anymore. His gaze was focused on something over his shoulder, alarmed. Dirk turned, expecting to see Todd racing to his rescue, and was met with the barrel of a gun.

Another man in CIA uniform stood behind him, rifle in hand.

“Don't move,” The man said, adjusting his weapon, “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

“Easy way?” Dirk laughed harshly, “There is no easy way. You think any part of this is _easy?_ ”

The other man barely acknowledged him. “Permission to take the shot, sir,” He said, and though the question was clearly directed at Riggins, Dirk shook his head wildly.

“What? No,” Riggins groaned, “Put the gun down, Friedkin, this is not how we are approaching this.”

As soon as Friedkin lowered his weapon, Dirk ran.

Something clattered behind him. He didn't turn to see what it was. The Ridgely was so close, all he had to do was make it through the door – but he hesitated, twisting awkwardly as he realised going inside would back him into a corner, and drag Todd into danger, and he should really run out into the open instead, but he couldn't decide which way to turn-

He was thrown forward by a force against his back, arms around him too tight, too cruel. He whimpered, crying out as he struggled against Friedkin’s grip, “No! No, let me go, let _go!”_ With a surge of energy, he managed to propel himself away from his captor, stumbling forward but not far enough, the agent catching up to him again.

“Stand down!” He heard Riggins shout, “Get back to the van. That's an order! I'll deal with this.”

Dirk was alone all of a sudden. He straightened his shaky legs, looking over to find Riggins still standing a few paces away.

“I'm sorry, Icarus.”

“No,” Dirk breathed, “You don't get to say that. No.”

“I'm trying,” Riggins said, “I want what's best for you. Right now, what's best is you coming with us.” Dirk shook his head again, and Riggins took a step backwards, nodding towards the Ridgely, “Maybe you should say goodbye to your friend. I'll see you soon.”

Dirk didn't know how much time passed between Riggins leaving and Todd appearing beside him, but he spent it staring at the empty space he had occupied.

“Everything okay?” Todd glanced up at him, searching for whatever had caught Dirk’s interest and finding nothing. “Dirk?”

“Yes,” Dirk gave him a watery smile, “Everything's fine. Let's get to cleaning.”

 

The tenseness hadn't quite left his body even by the time he and Todd had finished removing shards of glass from the car seat. It hadn't gone unnoticed, either. Todd shot him a strange look every so often, but it wasn't until they were back in the apartment that he tried to bring it up.

“Did something happen while I was on the phone?” He said, one hand on Dirk’s sleeve to stop him by the door.

He didn't want to worry Todd. He also didn't want to lie to him. This was a dilemma that required more thinking time than he had. “Why do you ask?” He said in lieu of an answer.

“Because you've been acting weird ever since you went outside.”

Dirk scoffed. “Fresh air can do that to a person, I hear.”

Todd almost smiled, but held it back. “Dirk, I'm serious. Was it just being out in the open, or…?” He raised his eyebrows expectantly. Dirk sighed.

“Someone… Someone I know showed up,” He admitted, “Along with someone I don't know, and also an assault rifle.”

Todd’s eyes bulged. “A _what?_ Dirk, why didn't you tell me?”

“I… didn't want to cause you any needless concern…?” Dirk shrugged, breaking away from Todd to sit down, “Look, I'm fine. No harm done. Slight emotional damage perhaps, but otherwise…”

Todd sat beside him, leaning forwards. “Shit, Dirk, I…” His face creased in pain, or maybe guilt was more accurate, “This was my fault, I shouldn't have left you to… God, it wasn't even an important call…”

“It could have been,” Dirk said, “You wouldn't have known unless you had answered it.”

Todd gave him a sidelong look, silent for so long Dirk shifted under his gaze.

“How are you so forgiving?”

Dirk raised his eyebrows in a question.

“I mean, I haven't exactly been great. I was an asshole to you, and you still wanted to, like, move in with me and everything.”

Pressing his lips together, Dirk spoke slowly, “I have to be. Very few people ever interact with me for any length of time, so I can't exactly afford to be selective. And really, a few offhanded comments are not the worst things I've encountered.”

“What are the worst?”

Dirk averted his eyes. “Doesn't matter,” He drummed his hands on his knees, standing swiftly and heading for the kitchen, “Tea?”

 

Dirk woke so sharply he almost toppled from the sofa, Todd’s name on his lips.

Disoriented, he blinked around the room. He was in Todd’s apartment, the CIA nowhere to be found, but still his limbs quaked. He wasn’t even sure he had spoken out loud, or if that had been part of the dream. He sat up, drawing the blanket around him.

He should go check on Todd. Make sure nothing had really happened to him, that he was still in bed, unharmed. But it wasn't fair to disturb him for nothing.

Or was it nothing? It felt more like a memory than a dream. Todd gone, Todd injured because of him, Todd dying because of him. Clenching his hands in the blanket, he tried to shift into a more comfortable position, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He breathed out heavily, shakily.

Footsteps padded across the floor. Dirk tensed, half expecting this to be it, they had come for him in the middle of the night and it would all be over.

The bedroom door creaked open. Dirk’s head snapped round to it, breath catching.

“Dirk?”

Todd leaned against the doorframe, bleary-eyed, squinting at him in the dark.

“Todd,” Dirk said, though it came out as more of a sigh of relief. Some of the fear left him. Todd looked fine, if a bit disgruntled.

Todd looked around the room. Dirk was struck with the temptation to smooth the confused crease from his brow. “Did you have a nightmare or something?” He said, voice roughened by sleep.

“Ah, something like that,” Dirk cast him his most convincing smile, which apparently at the moment was not very convincing, because Todd was still frowning. He shuffled across the room, perching on the sofa beside Dirk, close enough that his hand brushed his leg. He didn't say anything, but his concerned look spoke for him. Dirk tried to laugh, “It’s alright. Nothing to worry about.” His hand twitched, desperately wanting to reach for Todd’s.

“You gonna be able to get back to sleep?” Todd asked.

Dirk hesitated. That may be an issue. He didn't want a repeat of that dream, and he definitely didn't want to make himself vulnerable if the CIA did choose now to approach. It was unlikely, but still a possibility, and he was not keen to take any chances.

“It'll be morning soon,” He said, “I can find something to entertain myself until then.”

“It's the middle of the night, Dirk. Morning is at least five hours away.”

“That’s…” He shrugged, aware he was losing credibility by the second, and beginning to realise he hadn't had much to start with, “…soon?”

Todd sighed. “Come on.” He stood, patting Dirk’s shoulder as he moved to the end of the sofa.

“What?” He blinked, twisting to look up at Todd, “Come on where?”

Apparently slightly more awake now, Todd had the capacity to look mildly embarrassed as he said, “Uh, to bed.” He trailed his fingers absently over Dirk’s shoulder as he removed his hand.

“But that's where you sleep,” Dirk began, and then his eyes widened as he realised, “Oh! You mean…”

Maybe it was just the darkness, but Todd was looking slightly red. Dirk wasn't sure the heat in his own face was an after-effect of the dream.

“Yes. I _mean_. Now move, before I change my mind.”

Gathering his blanket around him, Dirk scrambled to stand up, trotting after him as he climbed back under the covers. “Um,” Dirk said, hesitating, until Todd pulled back the covers and gestured for him to get in.

Having spent weeks now sleeping on the sofa, Todd’s rather average bed felt better than it probably warranted under him. He burrowed into it, a smile gracing his face, and Todd laughed softly. “Night, Dirk,” He said, closing his eyes.

Dirk tried to do the same. But he found that any time his eyes closed, images of that place returned to him. He pushed them from his mind, focusing instead on thinking about Todd. Not an ideal thought-topic when he was sleeping beside him, but it was the only solace he had.

And that only conjured images of his dream.

_Todd doesn't deserve this,_ he thought. He didn't deserve to be put in danger by Dirk. He didn't think he would ever forgive himself if something happened to him. It would be his fault, just for staying, just to fuel his own selfish need for a friend.

He had never been a protector to Todd. He could stop kidding himself about that. All he had wanted was someone to talk to.

He had found that, of course, and more. He had found someone to call home. But at what cost?

“I can hear you, you know,” Todd said quietly. “You’ve been awake the whole time.”

Dirk sniffed. He hadn't even registered the tears stinging his eyes until now. He swallowed them back harshly. “I…” His voice wavered, his mind blank of words, which was highly unusual for him.

Todd rolled over to face him. “Dirk. What is it?”

“It's nothing,” He said again. With his gaze focused on the ceiling, unable to meet his eye, he felt more than saw Todd’s shrug.

Silence fell between them, enough for Dirk to count his own rapid heartbeats.

He waited until he was almost certain Todd had fallen asleep before he whispered, “I should leave.” Being honest was easier when the other person probably couldn't hear.

A few beats passed with no response. _Good_ , he thought, though a little disappointed.

“Why?” Todd said eventually, startling Dirk into turning his head. Impossibly wide eyes stared back at him.

“Because I…” Dirk said. Telling the truth could mean losing Todd.

 Or telling the truth could save Todd’s life.

“I'm putting you in danger.”

Dirk had been dreading his reaction ever since the first time he had considered having this conversation. He had never imagined Todd would laugh, but that was exactly what he did.

“Don't be an idiot,” Todd said, “You've been putting me in danger since the first time you showed up. Has it stopped me so far?”

“Technically, yes. You didn't want me here in the first place, if you'll recall.”

Todd’s face softened. “I know,” He whispered, “I recall. But I do now.”

That couldn't possibly mean what Dirk thought it meant. His eyes widened, though he tried to restrain his face, not show how far his hopes had just soared. “You do… what?” He asked. Clarification was required here; perhaps he had meant something else, and Dirk had only taken from it ‘I want you here’ because he so desperately wanted to be here, to be wanted.

Maybe Todd could see his loneliness in his eyes, because he shifted just slightly, just enough to snake his arm out from under him and find Dirk’s hand beneath the covers. Dirk was suddenly hyper-aware of everything, the slight gasp he gave at the contact, the warmth of Todd’s fingers as they laced slowly with his, the blue of his eyes the only colour in the night.

“I want you to stay.”

Emotion welled in Dirk’s throat. He nodded, tightening his hand around Todd’s. It would be a struggle to get words out, but he shifted closer to Todd, relishing the way Todd moved towards him, and tried anyway.

“Then I'll stay.”

 

It must still have been some ungodly hour of morning – the room was still pitch black, the outside world silent – when Todd stirred awake.

Soft breath tickled his arm. Squinting, he found Dirk curled on his side, his face a picture of peaceful sleep. Their hands were still joined; Todd smoothed his thumb over Dirk’s skin.

At any other time, maybe he would have pulled back a little, given Dirk and himself some space. But there were no barriers in the middle of the night.

He moved closer. Dirk sighed in his sleep. If Todd listened – or maybe just hoped – he could hear his name in Dirk’s mumbling breaths. Softly, he pressed his lips to the top of Dirk’s head, buried his nose in his hair, and fell asleep again.

 

He was jolted awake by Dirk’s voice yelling his name.

The bed was empty, but still warm. The shout had come from somewhere out of the room. Todd’s heart skipped, panic curling in his chest. He threw the covers off and ran.

When he threw open the door, Dirk was standing in his kitchen, hair mussed but eyes bright. Todd hesitated – he seemed perfectly fine – but hurried over to him anyway. “What happened, are you okay?”

“It’s terrible, Todd, a disaster,” Dirk’s voice was entirely serious. He waved a hand in the direction of an open cupboard. “We’re out of teabags.”

“…What?”

“Look!” Dirk pointed wildly at the cupboard, “No teabags. I can’t be expected to go without a good cup of tea, Todd.”

“ _Dirk_ ,” Todd scolded, punching his arm lightly, “I thought something had happened to you! You asshole, I was fucking worried.” Despite his words, he found himself laughing, relief bubbling inside him.

Dirk was clearly trying to hold back a grin. “I am serious, though, Todd. I’m fine, but I’m serious. We have to go out for teabags.”

“Right. Uh, I can go grab some from the store later today.”

“No!” Dirk cried, “I need to come with you. For a start, you’ll get the wrong kind, and I can’t risk that. And…” His energy faltered, “I don’t want to be left alone here.”

“Alright. We’ll go later today, then.” Todd softened, until Dirk gave him a pointed look.

“It’s called _breakfast_ tea for a reason, Todd.”

That was how they ended up in the nearest store before 8am, with Dirk as bright as usual and Todd wondering what terrible life choices had led him to this.

It wasn’t terrible, though, not as much as it should have been. Watching Dirk pensively browsing teabags that all looked the same, Todd found himself smiling. If there was anyone he would get out of bed so early just to protect, it was Dirk Gently. Even if he was technically a superhero, and should be able to protect himself. Todd liked to think he knew him better than that now. Dirk was tough, and he would be fine no matter what, but Todd would be there to make sure he didn't have to be.

Maybe that made him Icarus’ sidekick. Maybe it could make him something more. He found he didn't mind either option.

As soon as morning had arrived, they were back to their usual routine; neither of them had mentioned the night. There had definitely been a dreamlike quality to their pre-dawn conversations, and maybe he would have thought them to be nothing but dreams if they hadn't felt so tangible, and if he hadn't woken with Dirk’s warmth lingering on his sheets. But he knew it had been real, even if it was something to be buried and forgotten about now.

Dirk had piled three boxes of teabags in his arms, and was struggling to balance them and reach his wallet at the same time. “Here,” Todd said, taking the boxes from him. Dirk beamed, patting his shoulder.

“Thank you, Todd. You're a great help.”

 

They returned to a trashed apartment.

“What the hell?” Todd’s mouth fell open as he stood in the doorway. His furniture had been scattered, drawers thrown open and papers strewn across the floor. His picture frames had been smashed – Amanda’s face peered at him through splintered glass again and again, a family photograph had been torn almost in two.

“No, no, no…” He crouched, ran his fingers across a photograph, tried to piece the shards back together.

It was chaos. And in the middle of it all, Dirk’s bag lay open on the sofa.

Todd looked up at him. Dirk was pale, silent. He walked over to his bag, took one look inside, and paled further.

“What’s going on here?” Todd said; he hadn't meant to be harsh, but Dirk flinched as if his voice had cut him.

“It's… a letter,” Dirk said quietly, picking a white envelope from his bag. He turned it over in his hands, inspected the neat print on the front, but made no move to open it. “It’s… from the CIA, I think.” He folded it over, tucked it into his pocket without reading it, looked around at the mess someone had made of the room.

Todd stood up, running his hands through his hair. “What do they want? Read the letter, Dirk.”

“I’ll read it later,” He said, swallowing visibly. Todd gritted his teeth.

“I need to know what the hell’s going on,” He said, “Why were they in my apartment? Why did they need to wreck everything? Were they looking for you?”

He hadn’t realised his voice was rising until Dirk’s volume suddenly matched. “Probably! I don’t know, Todd, I don’t know anything!”

Todd swore, kicking a fallen chair. “This is great. Fucking fantastic. I’ve got no job, no money to replace all of this shit, the _actual goddamn CIA_ are after us, my life’s in danger, my _sister’s_ life is in danger because she’s hanging around with a bunch of _wackos_ , I- how did I get here? What the hell did I do to end up like this?”

“Todd…” Dirk tried, but he wasn’t finished.

“No, you know what, I know exactly what I did. I let the world’s worst superhero into my apartment, that’s what I did. I-” He broke off, daring a glance at Dirk, who looked as though he had been repeatedly kicked. Tears brimmed in his eyes.

Before Todd could say anything else, Dirk retaliated. “I might not be the best superhero, but at least I’m doing something with my life.”

Todd had almost felt sorry for him. Almost – until he had opened his mouth. Over years of being hated, Todd had thought he had developed a thick skin, but Dirk’s words stung deeper than they should have.

“You don’t get to judge me. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Well it seems to me that I know more about you than anyone else!”

“That’s not true! I have…” Truth always made words harsher. He clenched his hands into fists. “I have Amanda. Who do you have? Nobody, right? You can’t even stay in one place long enough to let people get to know you!”

Dirk took a step back. “You’re wrong! I am _trying_ to be normal, Todd, I really am!” He was yelling now, they both were, but neither of them was willing to be the one to stand down first. “I wanted to protect you. I know I messed up with you, and I wanted to make it better. I never meant to-”

“I don’t need you, Dirk! I don’t need your protection, and I don’t need you.”

“Then why did you ask me to stay?!” Dirk’s voice cracked.

This wasn’t how Todd had wanted that conversation to be brought up, but it was how it had happened, and somehow that only made his anger grow. He opened his mouth before he could think through his response.

_“Because I-”_

He cut himself off so sharply it felt like he would choke on the words.

_Because I love you,_ he had been about to say.

The thought had crossed his mind before, of course, but as a concern, never as a truth until now.

Suddenly he didn’t feel like fighting anymore.

“…I don’t want to be the one to blame if something bad happens to you.” He felt himself deflate as the tension ebbed into exhaustion, chest heaving to catch his breath. He caught Dirk’s gaze, held it for as long as he could bear, then shut himself in his bedroom with a slam of the door.

 

Dirk’s hands shook as he opened the letter. He tried very hard not to think of Todd. The letter would almost have been a welcome distraction, had it not clearly been from the CIA.

The sofa was about the only thing left standing, so he sat on it. Whatever the CIA had been looking for, he sincerely hoped they hadn’t found it.

He read the letter.

_Project Icarus,_

_Recent research has suggested you now have someone to live for._

_You have already been informed of the recalling of all Black Wing subjects. Failure to comply may result in unfortunate circumstances._

_Rendezvous at the following address, Thursday, 1300._

As promised, an address was printed at the bottom of the letter.

He took a deep, shaky breath, folded the letter, and tucked it away.

 

Todd emerged from his room around dinner time. He paused on his way to the kitchen, saw Dirk watching him, and walked towards him instead.

“You didn’t have lunch,” Dirk said.

Instead of a reply, Todd sat down beside him. “What did the letter say?”

“Um,” He cleared his throat, fingers tense in his lap, “They want me to meet them. They gave me a date and time, and a place.”

Todd nodded slowly, casting him a brief sideways glance. “You’re not going, though, right?”

“They… know about you.”

“Of course they know about me, they’ve been in my apartment. They’ve been following us for weeks.”

“No, I mean, they… vaguely threatened you, I suppose.” He turned to Todd, leaning forward to catch his eye, “I can’t let them hurt you. So if that means I have to go… Obviously, I’d rather _not_ , but if that’s what it comes to…”

“No. They’re not getting you just to keep them away from me. We’ll find another way.”

As Todd made his way to the kitchen, Dirk weighed up his options. Thursday – he had two days to make his choice.

If there was a way to keep Todd safe that didn’t involve turning himself in, he would absolutely take it. But right now, he could see no other option.

 

Farah’s name lit up Dirk’s phone the following day. When he went to answer, he found he had missed 7 of her calls. It must have been important; he fumbled to grab his phone. “Hello?”

_“Icarus,”_ Farah spoke in a careful whisper, _“We have a… situation.”_

“What kind of situation? Are you okay?”

Todd popped his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand and eyebrows raised questioningly. Dirk gave him a shrug. He was about to put his phone on loudspeaker when Todd retreated back to the bathroom and closed the door, leaving him feeling a little dejected. It had been back to sleeping on the sofa for him that night, and the sofa was beginning to feel like the metaphorical doghouse. He still had a solution to exactly zero of his problems.

_“I’m… yeah,”_ Farah said, leaving Dirk no less confused than before, _“But it’s a situation with, uh, with Bart.”_

In the distance, he heard a familiar gravelly voice call, _“I’m gonna find you!”_

Ah. He could see now what had happened here. “Farah!” He whined, “I told you not to tail her anymore.”

_“I know you did, but I couldn’t just let her keep killing!_ ” Farah hissed, _“I wasn’t going to try anything without backup, I just wanted to make sure nobody was hurt.”_

Oh dear. That should probably have been Dirk’s job, as the resident superhero. He grimaced. “Where are you now?”

_“In the store room of some shop in the city centre?”_ Farah said.

Dirk stood up, pressing his phone to one ear with his shoulder. “Okay, I’m on my way, but you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.” It was the first time he had even looked at his wings in days, and he was pleased to find them relatively untouched by yesterday’s break-in. He struggled into them, trying to simultaneously balance the phone as Farah described her location.

Before he left, he stood by the bathroom door, debating whether to bring Todd. Splitting up could be potentially more dangerous for both of them – but dragging him straight to Bart’s line of fire wasn’t ideal, either. His fist hovered by the door, ready to knock.

He remembered Todd’s rage-fuelled words and let his hand drop with a sigh.

The shower turned on. Dirk opened his mouth to at least call on Todd, tell him he was leaving. But he thought better of it, and left in silence.

It was almost odd, having his wings and mask back on, even though his spell without them hadn’t been that long in the grand scheme of things. Flying was a comfort; in the air, nobody could touch him.

He landed behind the shop, stumbling into a landing as his wing clipped against a skip. He winced at the clang. Farah’s head poked out from the door. “Great, you made it.”

“I did. But might I ask, why did you need _me?_ You’re far more competent.”

“She’s impossible to hit. All of my shots missed. And she’s armed, so hand-to-hand combat is difficult.” Farah’s expression suggested he was not going to like the next part of the sentence. “But if there were someone here to, say, distract her…”

“Ah. I see. So I’m… the distraction?”

“…Yes? I mean, unless you have another plan.”

Heavy footsteps approached, clattering pasts bins in the alleyway. Dirk shook his head. “Never mind. I have no other plan. I also have no weapon.”

Farah rolled her eyes, pressing a knuckle duster into his hand. “Take this. Are you sure you’re a superhero?”

“I’ve been having some downtime,” He replied, waving her off as Bart rounded the corner. Farah disappeared from sight just in time, leaving Dirk to deal with Bart.

_“You?_ ” Bart stopped when she saw him, waving the knife in her hand, “It weren’t you who followed me.”

Dirk peered at her weapon in a way he hoped was discreet. It looked more like a kitchen knife than her old machete, but he didn’t doubt she could do equally terrible damage with it. “You are correct. I didn’t follow you. But I am definitely the only one here now.”

To his surprise, Bart dropped her arm to her side, tucking the knife away somewhere. “Alright. I guess it was just you I heard back here, then.” She smirked, “You’re kinda noisy, y’know. That’s not good for sneaking around. Maybe I oughta teach you a thing or two.”

“Well, that’s a bit insulting,” Dirk pouted. It was then that he spotted Farah, creeping her way towards Bart, poised for a fight. His eyes widened – he tried to shake his head as subtly as possible, gesturing for her to leave. It wasn’t worth attacking her _now._ She wouldn’t hurt Dirk, and Farah was in the clear, or would be if she would just run rather than fight…

Farah was mouthing something that involved the word ‘knife’. Dirk gestured again, wilder this time. Bart gave him a funny look. In a moment of panic, his mind produced the explanation, “Pfft. Flies. They’re everywhere this weather.”

Bart wasn’t falling for it. She turned, and the moment she saw Farah the knife was back in her hand. “You’re the one who was following me! Who are you? Are you with the CIA? You don’t look like you’re with the CIA.”

Farah started forwards, aiming to disarm her; Dirk cried out and threw himself between them, pushing Farah back. “Wait, wait, wait! She’s with me. She doesn’t look like CIA because she’s not CIA. Now how about we all just calm down…”

Behind him, Farah cleared her throat. “How about Icarus and I leave quietly, and you can go back to… whatever it was you were doing before.”

Dirk glanced back at Farah, then to Bart again. “Actually… You go on ahead, Farah.” He rather wanted to talk to Bart. Perhaps she could help him with at least one solution.

Farah frowned. “Are you sure? You’ll be okay?”

“I ain’t gonna hurt him,” Bart grinned, as if she found hilarity in the very idea that she, a mad woman with a knife, would dare to hurt anyone.

“Okay… call me later.” She backed away, not taking her eyes off of them until she couldn’t possibly keep them in her sights anymore.

Bart hopped onto the lid of the skip, swinging her legs. With some reluctance, Dirk followed suit. “You want me to teach you to be quiet?” She asked.

Dirk shook his head. “Actually, I just… thought you could help me, perhaps. I can’t discuss this with anyone else, because they’re biased, because presumably they like me I think. But you don’t care about me as a person, and you’ll understand better than they could, so you are the best person for the job.”

Bart didn’t deny that she didn’t care about him as a person. He hadn’t expected her to, but it still felt a little rude. Regardless, he pressed on.

“The CIA broke into Todd’s apartment. Which is also where I live. So, I suppose me and Todd’s apartment?” His grammar sounded off – he tried again, “Todd’s and mine? Todd’s and my apartment? The apartment in which Todd and I are currently cohabiting, which is technically Todd’s, but I pay him rent.”

“So what’s your question?”

“Right, of course. Well, they left a note. It was very off-putting, the whole charade. But essentially it boils down to…” He sighed, turned to her. She was chewing her thumb, but listening intently. “What would you do, Bart, if your choice was between saving yourself or saving someone you loved?”

She shrugged, “I’m gonna need more details. But I’d probably kill them.”

“That’s not-” He said, brow furrowing, “No, it’s not like that. They want me to meet them. Tomorrow. Alone. And if I don’t go… I don’t know what they’ll do to Todd.” The thought made him shiver. Quieter, he asked, “What do I do?”

“Well if it was me, and Ken was in danger,” Bart looked pensive, and took a few seconds to answer, “I’d go.”

Giving himself up would be terrifying, and he felt weak just considering it. But even if Todd didn’t want him around, he knew he would do anything for him. Even if it meant subjecting himself to whatever the CIA had in store this time. He could survive it, knowing Todd was somewhere out there, living.

“But I’d destroy them, and I’d get outta there, and we’d both be fine.”

That gave him pause. “You’re… right. Maybe I’m oversimplifying my options. It is only a meeting… they didn’t mention my agreeing to go with them.” He slid down from the skip, looking up at the sky. It wasn’t quite a solution. But it was something to consider, at least. “Alright. Thank you for the advice, Bart.”

“Sure,” She said. Dirk was about to leave when she added, “Don’t let ‘em hurt your boy.”

With renewed confidence, he replied, “I won’t.”

 

Thursday arrived without fanfare, as it was wont to do. Time wouldn’t wait for one man’s decision, after all. And Dirk still hadn’t made his.

Actually, that was a lie. He knew what he had to do. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to do it.

Todd had been calling him all day yesterday; when Dirk had checked his phone mid-air and seen the number of missed calls, he had almost dropped from the sky. On his return to the apartment, he had found Todd pacing the floor in a state of near panic. For disappearing without telling him where he was going, Todd had given him a well-earned punch to the arm. Physically, the ache had now died down; emotionally, it still stung – but not in the same way as before. Todd did still care about him. It helped just a little to put their argument behind them.

He woke early that morning, earlier than usual, and found Todd was already awake. Neither of them said a word; Dirk poured himself a cup of tea and joined him in leaning on the kitchen counter. The warmth of Todd’s arm pressed against his was enough to let him forget, just for a moment, what he would have to face later. It made him want to stay like this forever, never leave Todd’s side.

It helped that from that point on, Todd acted like it was any other day. He complained about his lack of sleep, drank a ridiculous amount of coffee to make up for it, made Dirk toast for lunch. Watching Todd milling about the kitchen for him, Dirk tried to make the most of the domestic scenes – he had a horrible feeling they would be his last.

 He had spent the morning clock-watching obsessively, and each time he looked, he was a few minutes closer to leaving or losing Todd. Eventually, he couldn’t hang around much longer.

“Todd,” He said, voice low, putting every ounce of affection he had into that one name. Todd turned away from the sink, his expression telling; he knew something was wrong. He could probably guess what it was. “I need to go soon.”

“But you’re not…” Todd frowned, and the anguish in the furrow of his brow left Dirk feeling nauseous. “You’re not going to do it, are you? You- you don’t have to go.”

“I don’t have a choice. It’s better this way,” He tried for a soft smile, pulling his folded arms closer to his body, “Believe me.”

Todd didn’t reply immediately. Dirk could see his mind reeling. Perhaps it would be best to leave him now, before things got too close to an emotional goodbye; he could really do without one of those.

He stood back from the counter. Todd was still frozen, plate in hand, staring at him. Dirk pressed his lips together, swallowed, and said, “See you again, Todd. Thank you for letting me stay.”

He was halfway to his wings, duffle bag already packed and waiting, when there was a clatter from behind him that sounded awfully like a plate smashing. He stopped, but only turned when Todd yelled, “Dirk, wait!”

Todd had run into the room, but stopped short of moving closer to him, as much as part of Dirk wanted him to. He held up a hand, and if he looked closely Dirk could see it trembling. “Don’t throw away your life for me.”

“But you don’t understand, Todd,” He said, “You don’t know these people. You don’t know what they’re capable of. I do. And I will give myself to them over and over again if it stops them laying a finger on you.”

“I can handle it! I can handle whatever they throw at us, I swear to you I will be fine.” Todd took half a step forward before stopping himself.

Dirk shook his head sadly. “You don’t understand,” He repeated. “And I’m glad you don’t. It means I’ve at least partially succeeded as your protector.”

Todd’s eyes burned red. Dirk suspected his own looked equally bad. “You’re not my protector, Dirk, you’re my- you’re my friend. I can’t… I don’t want you to get hurt just to protect me.”

“Don’t you see, Todd, this was always going to happen,” Dirk threw up his hands, desperately wanting to cross the room and hold him. “You said you knew the story of Icarus. It was never supposed to end well. They knew that when they gave me the name; I would always, always fall.”

“You-” Todd’s voice was thick, “You deserve a chance at happiness. You can’t let them rule you.”

“It’s who I am, who I’ve always been. They knew I would be drawn to this life, to happiness, and it would be my weakness.” He took a deep breath, “Look, maybe this isn’t the end. I’m not… handing myself in, per se. I’m just meeting them.”

Todd’s eyebrows raised, a flicker of hope in his eyes. “So you’ll come back.”

“I’ll…” Dirk faltered. “I’ll try my best.”

_“Dirk,”_ He said, voice beginning to rise. “You told me you would stay.”

That struck a chord – Dirk swayed on his feet. More than anything, he wished he could stay. More than anything, he wished Todd hadn’t brought up that conversation, because now his already weak resolve was seconds away from shattering.

Todd went on, “I need you to promise me. I can’t let you do this unless you promise me you’ll come back. And I’m not afraid to- to physically restrain you, or whatever.”

Quietly, Dirk replied, “I don’t want to promise, because I don’t want to risk breaking that promise.”

“Then don’t go! Just listen to me for once! I need you to come back.” Light reflected off a single tear track on Todd’s cheek – Dirk’s eyes followed the teardrop to the floor. “Promise you’ll come home.”

Dirk opened his mouth to reply, but couldn’t find the words to tell him no. It was all he could do to shake his head, scrunch his nose to stop his own tears. He couldn’t take much more of this, seeing Todd upset because of something he did, or rather something he was doing. Everything was becoming too much – he needed it to stop.

But he didn’t have time to stop. The CIA didn’t appreciate tardy subjects.

He turned away from Todd, making towards his wings again, but he didn’t get very far before he had to look back.

Todd said his name again, a broken mirror of the way Dirk had said his earlier, so full of affection and anguish that he couldn’t just walk away.

And then Todd was walking towards him, shaky but determined, a new fire behind his eyes; before Dirk had a chance to do anything, to leave or to stop him or to meet him halfway, Todd’s hands were cupping his face and he was kissing him.

For a moment, all he knew was Todd’s lips on his, Todd’s fingers tracing his cheeks, Todd’s tears mingling with his own, Todd’s heart beating in the silent room.

And then his brain caught up with the moment, and he was only just about to do something other than stand there blankly when Todd pulled away.

Not quite managing to meet his eyes, Todd’s gaze lingered on his lips before focusing on a spot just over his shoulder. “Promise me,” He said again, barely a whisper.

Dirk could only croak out a faint agreement. “Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i know i said 5 chapters, but this is technically only half of chapter three, and it hit 8000 words and i was like. you know what. this is a good place to just, stop. so 5 chapters has become more-than-five and im not committing to a number  
> it took me like a week to actually post this because i didn't like it but oh well  
> i forget if i had any specific things to say abt this chapter but if i remember anything i'll add them later. thank u everyone for reading! see u next update


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